Absolutely ... I know what you are saying. It's hard to find the right balance. I feel other's pain so intense, I can easily feel overwhelmed with "grief". I am constantly reminding myself that it's not my responsibily to jump in & fix everything ... that's not good for me & other people turn on me for trying or for caring too much. Like you said, I cannot "save the world". The problem is the empathy just doesn't stop.

The experience you had in the grocery store with the little girl had to be awful for you. Those imaages stay with you ... I think it's hard to let go of it. So much sadness in the world.

I, too, feel I need to help everyone. Right now I am helping a friend of mine. He is homeless so I am letting him stay with me. He is full of anxiety and anger and he puts on this front for everyone but I see under all of the BS. I am the one he comes to at 2am crying, and I want to just hold him and make it all go away.

I take on WAY more than I can handle emotionally. I care for others way more than they would ever care about me. I tend to find the good in everyone no matter how they come off to the world. Right now I am seperating myself from a lot of people because I feel I have invested myself too emotionally and it is taking it toll. I do not sleep anymore and I have to stop myself from crying.

I wish I could turn it off all of the time...I need to learn to say no. I need to learn to look out for myself first...I just don't know how to.

It's an honor to know such beautiful and wonderful beings that you all are!

Everything is one. Everything is a part of and intimately related to everything else. Everything is energy. There was no beginning. There will be no end. Time is an illusion. Eternity is now.

No matter how people are behaving, it is like I always see what is underneath it and want to reach that part, touch it, heal it.

I feel this so much. There is such an incredible mix of utter beauty and pain to be able to see underneath the surface of others.

You have a gift....yet you can only give what is free for you to give..meaning...it shouldnt hurt. Or at least not like this. It cant be dependent on the outcome. The more ok you are with yourself, the more you completely accept who you are and are able to surrender and have faith in the world...the more you can give freely...live freely...

I don't know if this makes sense. I wish I could speak of it better but a little unconcious myself lately..

Much love..

smiling....yes.

"The more ok you are with yourself, the more you completely accept who you are and are able to surrender and have faith in the world...the more you can give freely...live freely..." Yes! this does make sense, Hollyholly - it is what I am going through right now. Not an easy thing to fully grasp, or capture in written word, and so I do thank you for your post.

Oh Raniagale, you are a beautiful person! Don't let that one incident with the little girl haunt you too much. Try to see the possibilities in the action you DID make... perhaps that little girl felt there was no hope. Perhaps she felt like no one cared, and didn't understand why. And then you come along, and offer to do something for her... maybe you gave her hope. Hope that there are indeed good people in the world and that one day she may have one in her life. Perhaps she already DOES have good people in her life. Perhaps the adults with her at the time were horrible, but she has others that are good. Perhaps they weren't really horrible, just having a bad day, and have since gotten the help they needed and healed. And there are other ways to look at it. For example, perhaps you didn't change the little girl's situation as you'd hoped, but perhaps you touched an observer with the way you reached out, and that in turn made them want to reach out to someone in need... perhaps someone in greater need even than that little girl.

The point I'm trying to make is that, if you allow that past incident, that you can no longer do anything about, stop you from helping others, then our world would suffer the loss of your beautiful soul and all the help and happiness it brings to it.

No matter the outcome - you made an impact, I'm certain of that.

Dixie

Thank you all for the responses. Those closest to me always tell me that I need to give myself more credit and stop carrying the entire world around with me. I do forget at times to look at what is good and get bogged down by everything I feel.

What a beautiful soul you have, raniagale. I am deeply moved by what you've written here. Bless your heart.

One of the hardest things for an empath to learn is to care for themselves before others. Such a thing is diametrically opposed to their core being and to why they are here in this life. But it is something that, if they desire to continue their work, they must learn to do. This isn't as selfish as it appears on the surface. Indeed, it is for the highest and best good for all. Consider the phrase "Physician heal thyself." If the physician spends all her/his time and energy healing others in spite of her/his own illness, what happens to the rest if she/he succumbs? Then nobody gets healed and the Universe is worse off for the loss.

Maybe most important, thing to learn is to not take anything personally. I don't know if you do or not, but it is important to realize that what people do, they do for their reasons, not yours. Their behavior is a reflection of them, not you. Keep in mind that regardless of what anyone says to you or does in your presence, *you* are still the same beautiful soul you have always been; perfect, whole, and complete.

I've read much about "shielding" yourself from emotions, energies, etc. Some folks say surround yourself with white light, some say a golden ball, others say mirrors, and still others say a force field. I've tried these and they do not work for me. In fact, they don't do a thing except distract me. After pondering on this, I believe I finally came up with a reason. I am an empath (weak, but nonetheless empathic). Like I said before, feeling others' emotions is why I am in this life. If you believe in soul contracts, that is a major part of mine. So, by attempting to block those emotions, I am in violation of both my calling and my contract. I suspect that may be the same for you.

The solution is to allow the emotions in. Don't fight them, don't resist them. Allow them to enter and wash right through you. Open a channel to the earth or the skies and simply be a conduit for those emotions. You can do this while in the presence of them, or you can do it later (but soon) like draining a tank. Personally, I'm more connected with the earth, so that's what I use, but you use whichever works best for you, or both if that's best.

One final item. Sometimes when I'm in a store focusing on something (like grocery shopping) and the energies of the people in the store are chaotic, I will literally feel myself fragmenting psychically. I am not to the point where I can let subtle multiple energies wash through me, so I still internalize them subconsciously as I try to maintain conscious focus on shopping. If you experience this, maybe what works for me will work for you, or you can take the concept and adjust/adapt it for yourself. In my mind, when I fragment I sense "pieces" of me floating all around me and a lost or disconnected feeling begins inside. At that time I stop and bring my focus to myself. With my arms hanging at my side, i close my eyes and ground, then I swing my arms out to the sides and up until my hands touch with palms together over my head. As I do this, I imagine that I'm gathering all the pieces of me together in my palms, so at the end of the sweep all my fragments are held between my palms like so many lightening bugs (I see the pieces as sparkling lights). The I bring my hands down across the front of my face until they are in front of my heart chakra. Then I bless myself as I open my hands with my palms toward my chest and reabsorb all the pieces of me back into my heart. I will do this as many times as necessary during my excursion through chaos. I've reached the point where I don't care what other people think, so I physically do it (making sure I don't bump anyone when I do, of course). If anyone who sees is awake enough, they will likely have the gist of what I'm doing. If not and they think I'm weird, oh well, they're probably right, LOL. ;>)

I don't know if any of this helps. I hope it does.

Abundant blessings to you, beautiful soul.
Namaste

Oops, I neglected to say that in the beginning, I was too self-conscious to do this physically, so I would imagine my arms moving just like they would have been. It worked, but I've found the actual motions help immensely.

Blessings.

And on Tao Walkers point...I wanted to add...I totally agree and was in a similar place to you Rani only recently..I was deliberately giving my energy to others because I wanted them to have it. I felt like I was no good if I didn't. and anyway, I wanted to share...with you guys that one evening in meditation I was told...after asking what my life purpose was...I got...heal and then you will heal...

and that was all

this was a long time ago and it has taken me a really long time to work out what that meant

well now I think I know

wow, that is amazing. I've had experiences like that but never even thought about them in such an articulate way! you've given me a lot to think about. In my situations, I did not usually reach out, as you did, and always regretted it afterward. Maybe I was in self protection mode. Think of your situation this way ... maybe the girl never forgot your kindness even if it did not show on her face. I'm guessing you may have been one of the few who showed her kindness and it probably is a permanent memory, something she hung onto during the worst hours of her childhood. So maybe you didn't get what you desired, but you helped her in ways that she payed forward many times over.