Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
As an HSP, I have a hard time being assertive. I fear that I'll be viewed as "mean" or "insensitive" if I ever stand up for myself to anyone. Anyone else feel this way?
Instead of asserting myself, I start to avoid people/situations that make me feel uncomfortable. For instance, my MIL. I am recently married, and over the course of my relationship with my H, she would make passive aggressive remarks to/about me. She is also an incessant complainer, and I do not exaggerate when I say that after a visit with her, I most always fall ill. Around the time of our wedding, her remarks became more direct and she made it blatantly obvious that she was not happy or supportive. I looked to my H for help...I had always thought my H would be in my corner, but this became the source of some nasty arguments for us. :( I finally realized (and not that my H is in the right) that I need to be more assertive and stop avoiding. When MIL would get to be too much for me, I'd retreat to my bedroom or make plans so I could be away from her. On my H's last visit to see his parents, I did not join him. I did a lot of thinking while he was away. I have to see the IL's next month... I am making a promise to myself to be assertive when faced with complaints and criticism from MIL.
Has anyone else struggled with assertiveness? Has anyone overcome a fear of being assertive, and if so, how?
Instead of asserting myself, I start to avoid people/situations that make me feel uncomfortable. For instance, my MIL. I am recently married, and over the course of my relationship with my H, she would make passive aggressive remarks to/about me. She is also an incessant complainer, and I do not exaggerate when I say that after a visit with her, I most always fall ill. Around the time of our wedding, her remarks became more direct and she made it blatantly obvious that she was not happy or supportive. I looked to my H for help...I had always thought my H would be in my corner, but this became the source of some nasty arguments for us. :( I finally realized (and not that my H is in the right) that I need to be more assertive and stop avoiding. When MIL would get to be too much for me, I'd retreat to my bedroom or make plans so I could be away from her. On my H's last visit to see his parents, I did not join him. I did a lot of thinking while he was away. I have to see the IL's next month... I am making a promise to myself to be assertive when faced with complaints and criticism from MIL.
Has anyone else struggled with assertiveness? Has anyone overcome a fear of being assertive, and if so, how?
Vulcanx you put your finger oof something: sensing
something then told we are wrong. At "Well what do *you* sense if I am wrong about this?" "Well, um, nothing."
They notice nothing. (sheesh)
I had to talk to myself because I realised I was beginning to get low and anxious about me... how I am being perceived etc How to be assertive when dealing with demanding insensitive people...
I had to say, you are a kind loving woman and I love that you have the courage to say no... I told myself that this did not make me mean or bad but brave