Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
I'm not a perfect listener but I try to be a very conscious, active listener. I often end up feeling drained after speaking to people that I have extensive or in-depth conversations with because I truly am 100% present in the conversation. But lately I've noticed this resentment bubbling up that I can't keep shoved down. More and more I do not want to talk with the people I interact with the most because I do not feel they are listening to me well. They either seem to cut me off every time I start a sentence, change the subject, or minimize my feelings. Yet, I don't know how to let them know this without a) hurting their feelings b) ruining the friendship or c) seemining like I'm the one with the problem and I'm being dramatic or something. Any advice?
That's why I am lonely.
There are very few people I succeed to connect with.
What I understood, and it is probably not the best way act but it is working for me:
- My problems are my problems, people are not able to understand them, for a good reason, when I have a problem I can't solve on my own, it is so complicated only me can get the answer. Nobody wants to talk with you about something they do not know about.
- People are self centered. They like what to bring to them. They don't care/think about what they bring to you.
- Of course they minimize your feeling, you are HSP, they are not, they cannot understand what you go through.
The best advice I can give you is to stop empathy. Stop caring for other, become more selfish. I have read and heard that so many times : your empathy is probably sky high, but you need to learn to stop it when necessary if you want to live better being HSP.
Be yourself, be authentic, stop putting yourself in positions which drain you.
I don't think you are dramatic (except if you have many problems then you are). But what's the purpose of telling them ? then you will look like dramatic.
I don't want to be negative, but ruining friendship is the curse of HSP.
Where I stand, if I meet someone who does not interest me, I will not meet him again.