ok so there's this boy I've liked so much for three years, and I shouldn't like him because he's a waste of space. He dated my best friend to see what kind of reaction I'd have, he told me he loved me and broke my heart to the point where I cried for 5 hours and I couldn't sleep. He would say things to hurt me and I would cry myself to sleep 5/7 nights a week because of him. He has caused me to have almost daily panic attacks and I'm so stressed. Last night he told me he really loves me and I am so unsure of what to do. I have waited so long for this but I can't take it if it's another "joke" he's broken me. And I still love him. I love him so much, I think about him all the time and hen I'm near him I'm so happy. It's on text when he's so evil and I really can't cope. Someone please help, I don't know what to do. He's caused me to have panic attacks almost daily and I can't tell my family they don't understand. I've recently lost a lot of close friends which hasn't helped and I've got other friends now but I don't want to burden them. I just really feel like I can't take any more. I'm so confused. I've waited so long for him to love me but I'm scared of the pain I feel when he hurts me. I've turned to self harm in the past. I don't want to go back there but he just destroys my self esteem. I feel worthless and I just can't stop loving him. It sounds so stupid but I love him so much I can't let go. I have had so many arguments with friends about him and nobody understands how I'm feeling.