I’m currently senior in high school, on my 6th year living in USA, and having difficult time applying for college because of my citizenship status and my parents aren’t willing to help me at all.

my parents wants me to finish my high school education here then go to college in my home country Japan because the current visa will expire this year.

Mean while I want to get a new visa and stay here. I personally feel like The education, getting jobs, diversity, people here are better and suit my personality better. Although I told my parents many times that I really love the environment here and I want to continue staying here for college, they keep saying no because they can’t afford it and I’m not special enough that any of the college would want time or even get a job. I do understand that there are many risks for applying for colleges in country that I don’t have my citizenship, i don’t even know if I get any financial supports because I’m not eligible for FAFSA. For that reason I’ve been trying my best to talk to my parents, and do my best to make myself for a better status to apply. 

However, I think the biggest problem here is that my parents are not willing to communicate with me at all. They are DEFINITELY NOT the peaceful people to talk to. Means they are extremely bad tempered, they can easily get angry and violent, even without any proper reason. I have been always scared of them since I was little even though I can talk back to them a little but I can’t argue them because many times I tried, the more I got hurt. Even when I just Disagreed with them because I simply had a different idea and wanted to know their perspective, I’m not allowed to disagree with them, they told me. So when I try to talk to them about college, all they do is just tell me that I can’t, I just have to go back to my home country(which I NEVER wanted), I used up all their money, I’m dumb and worth nothing. I do admit some of the things they say is true; but these aren’t the helping the situation. I feel like they don’t even try to help me if there’s any other way, or even give me any help to find out what I can do Disregarding which country.

The current conclusion is im going to continue working on my application only the part that I can take care of(getting family infos, essay and supplements), and convince my parents to get me student visa(I think that’s they only way), and if I still couldn’t apply then I will take a gap year or semester just give more time to figure this out.

I don’t just want to stay here to get myself a student loans slowly killing me. When I just moved here 6years ago, It took me some effort to get use to and to open my mind to the new environment. And most importantly I made numerous valuable experiences and sacrifices. I don’t want to lose them all now and I want to continue learning in this country. And I don’t even want to live with my parents anymore because they probably only care about if I go to famous colleges or how much money I make, or thinks it’s ok to hurt me physically or emotionally or don’t accept my opinions just because they are superior. I don’t respect/even want people like them to be my parents, I always feel simply disappointed and upset whenever my friends talking about their proud/happy family stories.

I feel just fears. I have no clue what to do. I don’t know if I should just give up my dream and just do what my parents say(because it’s the “correct way” according to them) and don’t risk it, or fight for it and be responsible for all the risk I take.

Thank you for reading my post, I know I wrote unnecessarily dramatic stories here but it did take me a lot to come out. If anyone is familiar with foreign citizenship, international admission process for colleges, I would really appreciate it if you can help me. Thank you.