I understand how you feel i jad js for yrs but i didmt know that i had it umtil 2015cthats when it started gettimg bad thank god i jave a man thays understanding and know what it is i tell him all the time if we break up im not dating because it hard to tell someone aboit it i think you should take him to tje doctor and let the doctor explain it to him. So if he have any question he can ask the doctor if you do have sex with him i will not do it when it is draining or real bad down there but i will also let it be his chose if he wanna do it like that we havemt did nothing in 9 daus because im really messed up down there thank god he can wait

Can do it with the lights off, then work upwards from there

I completely understand where your coming from, I'm currently in the same position. I've had sex in the past but always with the lights off. Now I'm dating a guy who wants to do it with the lights on and in the middle of the day. but I'm terrified of how he's going to respond because my HS has completely destroyed my breast and underneath my butt cheeks. And to make matter worse not only do i have HS but I'm highly prone to keloids and when the HS pops up sometimes they leave keloids to remind me that they were there.

I don't have a boyfriend or have I been on a relationship but I would love to but I am just like you guys

Hey hun! So I totally understand what you are going through. My HS is in my inner thighs and arm pits and was starting to get pretty bad when I was around 19 and in my early 20’s. These were the days when I was in college and let’s say very “ sex positive”. So here are a couple things to remember. Confidence is sexy and people tend not to make a big deal of things unless you make a big deal out of it first. When I was hooking up with people I wouldn’t even mention it. Only once did someone even acknowledge the scars in my thighs and all he said was “oh no what happened”? And all I answered with was “ oh it’s no big deal I have a skin condition” and he shrugged it off and kept going. That is literally it. I’m convinced most of the time people didn’t even notice. One time I had been casually seeing this guy for about a year and I was staying over at his place for the weekend and I was taking antibiotic at the time to treat my HS and he asked me what I was taking meds for and I said oh it’s for my skin condition and he was so confused and was like what skin conditon? My mind was blown I was like how has he never even noticed?! I have had HS since I was 7 years old so I have MANY scars on my legs and I have stage 3 HS in my arm pits so it’s not like I have some minor case that isn’t even noticeable. As long as you come across as confident and unbothered by it then other people will take the same aproach. Now in the event that you end up with some ass hole that’s gonna point it out and say something about it then they didn’t deserve to be hooking up with you anyways and should just move along

I had the same fear when me an my husband were dating. You should honestly just tell him. There’s no telling how he will react but you will feel better with yourself if you don’t hide it. Allow him to ask questions and if so invite him to a doctors appointment to make him more comfortable. Hopefully he is understanding. After all, when you become intimate with someone you should share certain things about your body coming from both sides and allow them to make the decision to still be there. I’m grateful the person I married was understanding that this was something I could not help. It’s not dirty, it’s not something I caused for being irresponsible. It literally just happened. Hopefully he is that guy for you and if not I’m confident there is someone out there who will be. Stay positive!

Tell them before hand. Tell them next time you talk to them. If they care about you they will understand. If they don't then they cared about a "prize" and not about you as a person, if you know what I mean. if they like you for you then it wont matter. Everyone has their own things that they are imperfect about and they all know about them. No one is perfect. If they think they are perfect and you are not good enough, well forget them. There will be plenty others that will love to take their place.

You need to love you for you first. If you cant do that you can't open up to someone else. Once you love yourself for who you are and what you are and can accept your faults but love yourself, that is when you can really let someone else into your life.

I just got on here for the first time in quite awhile. Thank you for all your advice and support. I told him and It wasn't as bad as I thought, it didnt work out between us, not for this reason he was actually really understanding but regardless of that I am really glad I said something because now with other people it doesn't seem as hard to talk about and I feel more sure of myself. If the person I am telling isn't understanding then its not meant to happen. I know now there are people out there that don't care about this kind of thing and that I can actually be just like anyone else and be physical with someone else and not be worried about it all the time. It's a great realization to come to. I still have a long way to go but your words all helped me! Thanks again :)

God I feel the exact same way. I'm falling hard for this girl, but I have no idea how she would respond to all my scars. It's not even the HS scars that trouble me, mostly the huge pilodinal cyst surgery scar I have right in my fucking ass.