Kiki, I so relate to your post. Hell yes I get depressed when my HS flares. It keeps me in the house & away from other people. Either because it hurts to much to go out or because I don't feel up to bandaging myself up so I won't leak onto my clothes.

Over the years I have dealt with HS I have found mine to be more hormonally driven instead of stress driven. In some respects I guess I'm luckier than many. I have found good success in using turmeric & zinc to keep the worst of the owies at bay.

I have the worst case of HS any Dr in Arizona has ever seen. I have had many surgeries over the years & looking at all of the scars makes me depressed. Sometimes I feel like my body looks like something Dr Frankenstein used for practice. I have not had a relationship in years because I don't want to bother with the rejection I feel is imminent. Yes, this is something I am working on; because like everyone else in the whole world, I want to be loved and cherished.

Keep your chin up, all of us on here understand the frustration this disease brings.

I understand exactly how you feel. For a while, my HS was under control and didn't flare up. When it did, I nearly started crying. I hated it; I still hate it. It's like I can't dress nicely or wear anything but baggy t-shirts without showing warped skin or scars. And I'll admit that some people have been scared off by it; most of my friends whenever they saw it winced. Still despite all that, there are some people who are understanding and don't care. Sometimes it helps me out of the dumps that some people look past the ugliness of it all or don't even see it. Remember you are always beautiful, no matter the stupid HS.

Kiki, everyone here understands exactly how you feel. I think we have all experienced depression or feeling down to some extent. Personally I ended up going back to my doc for a referral to couselling.
Im currently living with my boyfriend of 4 years. He has seen my HS at its best and worst and is still living with me. Some days I dont believe him when he says the HS doesnt bother him, other days I do.
Its hard....really hard, believe me I know how hard but if someone is judgemental enough to let HS destroy or prevent a relationship with you theyre not worth it. There are people who will accept you and love you for you. If youre feeling really down and depressed go see your doctor. Get some counselling or something. It sounds stupid but Iv found the HS was destroying my confidence and self esteem. The cognative therapy really helped bring that confidence back and is still helping now. If you feel you need help please try to get it. I hit rock bottom and was having seriously bad thoughts when i eventually found the guts to get help. Please dont wait that long. There IS help out there if youre willing to accept it. Learn to love youre body instead of hating the scars and yuckyness and someone will fall in love with you regardless of all the crap that comes with having HS.
My thoughts are with you. Hope you fell better soon xx

I have a boyfriend who doesn't give a crap about my HS. But I have a phobia, a literal intense phobia of rashes and skin problems. This has been a constant anxiety attack for me. I'm not even sure how much longer I can take it before I completely shut down. At most times, I honestly don't want to exist.

I used to get so depressed and down about my HS that I would have dreams at night of taking a knife and cutting out all the lesions and skin. Scary stuff. Now, I try to take life as it comes, HS and all. It's really hard not to let it get you down but you have to find something positive in your life. Relieving stress is good too. Easier said than done. I'm on medication for my anxiety and that's helped so much. I hope that you can find something to relieve your stress.

Hey guys thanks for all of the responses. :) It just feels good sometimes to know you're not "alone" with all the crap that comes along with HS besides the physical aspect. I've had HS for as long as I can remember. For some reason when I was younger (it might have even been a little worse back then?) I wasn't quite as self conscious. Maybe it's because I've went a long time without a serious boyfriend that I'm scared to trust anyone. As a matter of fact I've only ever really trusted ONE person to see me...ahem...fully naked with the lights on. LOL. I have a fierce "lights out" policy. I went almost 4 years without even going on a single date. :( I'll NEVER do that again. Back around Feb. of this year I decided to start dating again. I've had one guy that I've really dated off & on since then and yes, we've been intimate but he's never "seen" the HS scars. God knows if he felt them he never said a word. Oh well....
There's a new guy that I'm genuinely interested in but for some reason I'm paranoid about telling him. Maybe because I can actually see it turning into something more long term? Who knows...
Thanks again guys for the replies. =) Oh and just to clarify I'm not really "depressed" or what not. Just had a bad day yesterday & needed to get that off my chest!

I can relate to the depression and anxiety. I have been taking Celexa for a month now and it seems to help a little. My recent problems with my hip as well as new abscesses are depressing and frustrating. Luckily I have a wonderful boyfriend who is always asking questions and is very proactive with the doctors. Without support I really dont think I would be handling all this as well as I am. When you get depressed remember a few things, you are NOT alone, there is always someone you can talk to about it, and it is what it is, make it through each day the best you can and hope for a better day tomorrow.

I think the pain and immobility it gives you really is mentally exhausting. I have also read that Depression can be caused by inflammation and that Depression is a way of your body saying....Hey! Trying to fight off an infection here, so slow it down and lie around and rest. Makes sense to me. If you are not taking an anti-depressant, research and suggest Cymbalta to your doctor. I have noticed that it has improved my pain and state of mind very well. In fact, if I have a day where my pain medication just isn't working well, I start thinking and remember that I forgot to take the Cymbalta that day. Hope this helps. I'm new to the group and looking forward to getting to know y'all!!

( ( ( SCORE ) ) ) ... you hit the nail on the head with a big sledge hammer. " If we can't accept HS ourselves".

I have found that my attitude about HS has a dramatic affect on those I talk to about it. How they react to it and to me. When I present it as it is a "no big deal" kinda thing... they see it as a no big deal kinda thing!!!

Depression is a major factor with this disease! Yes we all live with it. And why not! Wanna go some where and do something cant because of a flare up. Wanna go out for a hot date.... then one decides to make an appearance in places we dont talk about in "proper company"... yeppers.. I know how that feels. Stress makes the depression worse, so do the pain medications... depression... depression and more depression!!!

What to do? That different for all of us. For me, during a flare up.. I try and take it easy and look for fun or entertaining things I can do. Short walks, sit outside in the sunshine-OMG FEELS SO GOOD. Listen to my favorite upbeat tunes, call some one who can always make me laugh. Spend a little time thinking about the HS as possible

On other days... KATIE BAR THE DOOR.. I live it to its fullest every day. Name it, Ill try it!!

Sorry you had a bad day!! Hang in there... a goodin is just around the corner!!

Peace
KIBTL

Rick H.

What I find TOTALLY annoying & just pisses me off.....
"They" say that losing weight will help get rid of/control your flare ups. Yet sweating causes flare ups as well. How the hell are you supposed to lose weight without sweating?? LOL. To be honest I have no problem with being a big girl, sorry but I like curves and I like my booty! (Wow that almost sounded confident didn't it??? LOL.) Anyways, I do kickboxing & go walking or whatever whenever I can but uhhhhhh, I do sweat. Obviously that tends to make the flare ups come back. I think my thighs & the middle of my stomach are mostly scars. :( I get more actual flare ups under my breasts & under my arms. And naturally as a woman I feel like something is "wrong" with me when something is "wrong" with my boobs. Stupid huh? Oh well.....it's not the end of the world! Today's been ok so with everything else in life you just gotta take it one day at a time I suppose?

Depression / Anxiety is something that goes along with HS like bread and butter. I think many of us need therapy and meds to cope with these as they are definitely present in many of us with HS.

I know its tough when in a rut but try to just be hopeful and thankful for things. Helping others is the only way I know of to break out of depression. But getting started is what sucks...

Take care,

Love you,

Dus