I think it depends on your situation. I think it's totally ok not to tell someone while you're getting to know them. But when you are getting to the part where you're going to be intimate it depends on how your skin is.

My breakouts are usually not as severe as other people's, but I usually have 1 hanging around my groin area. And then scars. I waited until I didn't have anything weeping. Then I gave him a heads up while we were making out that I have a skin thing and there are scars. It's no one's business until you're getting down to business, you know?

Now....what worked for me may not work for you. My guy kissed my scars. It depends on your partner. And also on your level of breakout. I don't usually (knock on wood) get the tunneling, and I'm not usually having to bandage. BUT!!!! It sounds like the person you were with before was...not a nice person. A good partner, a nice, loving, supportive partner, will not make you feel like that. And if they do? Then they're not the right person for you. Flat out.

I can't guarantee there won't be an initial...freak out? As wonderful as my boyfriend is, the first time he saw one weeping he had a freak out. More along the lines of "OMG you have to go to the doctor right now!!" Than "ewww..." But it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes, lol.

Seriously though. If you have a terrible case, like stage 3 etc...wait a while. Get to know someone first to see if they are someone who is worth going through the trouble of explaining, or if they aren't someone you see yourself with. Just like people don't go around giving people their medical history on a first date, you don't have to either.

And then...well improvise. I get them in my groin where my leg meets my body. But not on my butt...so if I have one that is...slightly embarrassing to me we don't do missionary. Or we do other things than intercourse.

I hope that wasn't TMI....

No actually that was very helpful, thank you for sharing it. It gave me some new ideas to think about and some hope!

I wouldn't tell someone until I trusted them. I'd have sex with the lights off at first. Sucks.

Dating is the major problem for me. Then comes the beach because of the bathsuit, but i can live without getting into the sea although i love it and I used to be a swimmer. But if I found a partner who would understand my problem and support me i wouldn't care for anything else in this earth,really! Sometimes, you must go through situations like that to appreciate simple life.

There should be a dating site for people with HS. Mutual support and working towards goals to reduce symptoms together... That'd be wonderful. I'd love a girlfriend or wife with HS as much as any girl.

As a guy, and having just been broken up with after a 5 year relationship, I know that fear of going through the hassle of even meeting someone (since we tend to have bad self-esteem and introverted lifestyles), then the fear of rejection because of our disease. I'm scared shitless I won't find love again and I'm only 28...