Heroin Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Heroin is a highly addictive drug with severe withdrawal symptoms that can start as soon as hours after use of the drug stops. Withdrawal symptoms include extreme sweating and achiness, nausea, vomiting, cramping which causes "kicking," chills, and more. If you are struggling with a heroin addiction, there is help. Join the group and get support.
In 2011 I was a Typical 23 year old. Working Full time, shared an apartment with my high school sweet heart. Thinking she was the one, struggling to stay above poverty, but overall happy. Between my girl friend, my friends, and playing basketball several times a week my life was good enough. Hell, I woke up every day extremely happy. I've always struggled with my self image, even if people did like me. I always felt different, and way to emotional for a guy. Maybe it's because I'm an only child and grew up with a mother who babied me.
I still remember the pain I had on here around 2011 when things were going very bad. I was suspecting my girl friend didn't love me anymore. This happened because we accidentally got her pregnant. One day she sat in my lap and told me she was pregnant. I figured this was a very good thing. Oh, how my life changed from there. Long story short, a couple weeks later she got an abortion without my approval. If that wasn't bad enough, we began to fight which never happened as friends, as the two years we lived together.
It's funny, I was never one to invade privacy... but something told me to check her phone, and to my dismay.. she was sleeping with another man. We broke up, I called her many evil names, and did some things I really regret. She was only 21, finishing up school, and she had to go to Africa for a class. She would not have been able to go pregnant. I now understand that everyone is not like me, everyone has different priorities. Some of us care about money first, some education, some having fun, some wanting a family. I do believe our recent fighting pushed her into sleeping with another man, but I have no way of never knowing if she was cheating all along. I guess it doesn't matter.
Now fast forwarding it 4 years. I am 27, I live in a studio apartment about as big as a small room. I recieve food stamps, and just recently got my CDL to better myself. I work at save a lot with a bunch of kids right out of high school. Most in relationships, and happy. I remember those days. Where has all the time gone. I no longer have a car, which I've had several since 16.
Through the past years I have developed a heavy Heroin addiction. Have Overdosed 4-5 times, and actually brought back twice with very close call after I stopped breathing. I have been homeless, I have stayed at strippers houses, I have taken advantage of my parents and my friends. I can honestly say I have been friends and met at least 10 people who have died from heroin overdose from long term rehabs. And I wonder how am I still here. One of the times I was saved on a street by an ambulance who was called for me in the city.
Through this only my family has stuck close to me. I do not know why, but I really do appreciate it. I have stolen through addiction, and have had close calls with getting seriously injured in bad areas. I have gone to jail, and spent a year in rehab. Even through the drug I could not get the happiness I had with my Ex. Or even before I had a relationship.
I have been single now for 4 years, I do not mind being single now. I do not have any friends. I had many friends then, over 25 I could hang out with in a phone calls notice. It's hard, because I still see them all being very close. I went to a friends Jack and Jill stag, and I never felt so alone in a room. I'm not sure why I am writing this all, maybe I just feel I need to.
It's been a very hard journey, I consider myself a very caring and good person. Which makes what I've done in the last few years either question what I think about myself, and/or make me very guilty. I've tried to reach out to several, some pretend like were cool, some won't answer.
I don't know where to go from here. I've been sober for about a year and half now. I want to give up some days, yet some days I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Life is hard, and even harder for people like me. I'm not the average joe who can shrug stuff off. My self esteem must be incredibly shot, because every female I see who smiles at me, I think... maybe she likes me, maybe we can hang out... Then I have to remind myself it doesn't work like that, and to relax before I creep someone out.
It's 3am, I struggle, my family, my counselors think I am doing great. And maybe I am, maybe I have made several leaps and bounds. But at times.. it doesn't feel like it. So I write to you random people, in hope to release this pain from inside of me. And to possibly find the answer of happiness.
I do not with anyone unhappiness, and I hope everyone lives a great life.
I still remember the pain I had on here around 2011 when things were going very bad. I was suspecting my girl friend didn't love me anymore. This happened because we accidentally got her pregnant. One day she sat in my lap and told me she was pregnant. I figured this was a very good thing. Oh, how my life changed from there. Long story short, a couple weeks later she got an abortion without my approval. If that wasn't bad enough, we began to fight which never happened as friends, as the two years we lived together.
It's funny, I was never one to invade privacy... but something told me to check her phone, and to my dismay.. she was sleeping with another man. We broke up, I called her many evil names, and did some things I really regret. She was only 21, finishing up school, and she had to go to Africa for a class. She would not have been able to go pregnant. I now understand that everyone is not like me, everyone has different priorities. Some of us care about money first, some education, some having fun, some wanting a family. I do believe our recent fighting pushed her into sleeping with another man, but I have no way of never knowing if she was cheating all along. I guess it doesn't matter.
Now fast forwarding it 4 years. I am 27, I live in a studio apartment about as big as a small room. I recieve food stamps, and just recently got my CDL to better myself. I work at save a lot with a bunch of kids right out of high school. Most in relationships, and happy. I remember those days. Where has all the time gone. I no longer have a car, which I've had several since 16.
Through the past years I have developed a heavy Heroin addiction. Have Overdosed 4-5 times, and actually brought back twice with very close call after I stopped breathing. I have been homeless, I have stayed at strippers houses, I have taken advantage of my parents and my friends. I can honestly say I have been friends and met at least 10 people who have died from heroin overdose from long term rehabs. And I wonder how am I still here. One of the times I was saved on a street by an ambulance who was called for me in the city.
Through this only my family has stuck close to me. I do not know why, but I really do appreciate it. I have stolen through addiction, and have had close calls with getting seriously injured in bad areas. I have gone to jail, and spent a year in rehab. Even through the drug I could not get the happiness I had with my Ex. Or even before I had a relationship.
I have been single now for 4 years, I do not mind being single now. I do not have any friends. I had many friends then, over 25 I could hang out with in a phone calls notice. It's hard, because I still see them all being very close. I went to a friends Jack and Jill stag, and I never felt so alone in a room. I'm not sure why I am writing this all, maybe I just feel I need to.
It's been a very hard journey, I consider myself a very caring and good person. Which makes what I've done in the last few years either question what I think about myself, and/or make me very guilty. I've tried to reach out to several, some pretend like were cool, some won't answer.
I don't know where to go from here. I've been sober for about a year and half now. I want to give up some days, yet some days I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Life is hard, and even harder for people like me. I'm not the average joe who can shrug stuff off. My self esteem must be incredibly shot, because every female I see who smiles at me, I think... maybe she likes me, maybe we can hang out... Then I have to remind myself it doesn't work like that, and to relax before I creep someone out.
It's 3am, I struggle, my family, my counselors think I am doing great. And maybe I am, maybe I have made several leaps and bounds. But at times.. it doesn't feel like it. So I write to you random people, in hope to release this pain from inside of me. And to possibly find the answer of happiness.
I do not with anyone unhappiness, and I hope everyone lives a great life.
Hey, how's it going ? I'm Jessica. 35 years young. I am a 5 year old heroin addict. Currently still using. And homeless. I live in a 5-6 person size tent with my life partner who's name is MACHO. He's my 3 year old Bull Terrier. I lost my previous home, previous job and my first and only child who was born in April 2015 all because of heroin. Do you know how much a Bitch like me cries every day and night ? ;;; I lost all those things because of my addiction. Most painful is my daughter. You know, feel free to read my journals or.my replies and everything else you can find of mine. We'll,I knew this one friend who was the only child and was also very , umm how can I say it ?? Anyways, he was the same as you were regarding women and would always get played and never tooken serious by these women. You know, maybe I shouldn't say what he thought of himself . I'll hold off on that part for a min. But, my point is, if your doing good enough were people Can tell.then don't be so hard on yourself. As bad as we think it Is,.. just remember there is always someone else doing worse . So don't beat yourself up for just being a nice guy. And your ex girl who cheated on you didn't cheat on you because you pushed her ! She cheated because she ultimately didn't love you sincerely. Cause no one would cheat on someone if they absolutely loved that person. I'm sorry to sound so much like a Bitch. I apologise. Take care Z. Bye.