honestly i think that could possibly push her away it really depends how much she cares about the guy that is if she really does are it could have been a relationship where they both just loved getting high together but if she really really liked him and you put him off limits she might get upset causing her to push you away and or if she is really committed to getting clean she will realize being with him will cause her using again i think it all depends on how she feels when shes out

alright, nothing against corwin, he gives good advice, but that is something I would have said when I was still using (like him) because it kind of cushions the way to make it easier for her.

Now. Ive been clean a year and a half, and im telling you, it doesnt matter if you put your foot down and say "YOU CANT SEE HIM" because that will make her rebel against you, and when my boyfriend and I tried to get clean, it was a trainwreck because we were so used to getting high together, that when we tried to be sober together, we were bored.. and allowed eachother to talk ourselves into using, JUST ONE MORE TIME.

so this is what I WOULD DO. If she screws up EVEN ONE TIME, kick her out. its the only way she will learn. and dont tell her that if she goes back to rehab she can come home.. because she will choose rehab JUST to come home.

when you get kicked out.. you realize just how lonely the world can be.

Per my hug message, take a few moments & breathe. You have already had to make tough decisions, & it sounds like this has been a shock. Yes, there are many hard decisions to make in the next days, weeks & months but you don't have to make them all at once or on your own. Take some time to get the support YOU need & information about addiction & recovery. Encourage her to stay in the program at all costs. For example, when she says she's sure she'll never use again ask her to help YOU by showing her committment & sticking through the program. Remind her she's there to learn the skills to stay in recoveyr in the 'real world', where there are daily stressors, triggers, & complex relationships like the one you mentioned - that's what she neds to learn there and you don't learn it overnight. Like i said be proud that she went to you, that says a lot about your relationship (when you start talking to other families you'll see this is rare). The question about the boyfriend is a big issue & will have to be faced, but don't add to your own stress by taking on everything at once. I recommend we revisit this question in the coming weeks, after Hanna has had some time to prioritize her life, too, as she may feel differently about her relationship at that time, as well. Best wishes.

I think you should take this day by day, see if she still feels the same way when she gets out of her program. When you see how she has reacting to sobriety then you will be better equipped to face that question and deal with it then. For now try and be strong. I ask god to gude you and your family through this difficult time. Love and hugs xxxxx

How old is Hanna? She really needs to finsh the program. She needs this no matter how much she pleeds and you miss her. She is under 18 right? Your the mom you need to put your foot down. Dont be afraid to call the cops on her is she leaves the house or goes out with him. I wish my parents would have helped me out. Talk to the treatment center on how to interact with her. Dont be afriad to talk to them. You need to change yourself to. You need to view this as a new life when she gets out. Watch the show Intervention on A&E. Its painful to watch but you need to get in the mindset that you will not put up with it anymore but be nurturing at the same time. Hope this helped. Send Hanna our love.

Thank you all so much for your kindness and support. I'm very touched that you took the time to send me such thoughtful responses and such good advice. I especially like the advice to put the boyfriend issue off for a couple of weeks. I'm overloaded with worry right now. She really hates it there and calls wanting to come home. She also called and wants me to come and visit. This weekend will be two weeks in treatment - I want to talk to a counselor to see if that's too soon to come visit her. Your kindness and your experience gives me hope...the thing I need most. -Mandy