I would leave for a few days. physical violence solves nothing. go to an al anon or nar anon group and get some support for yourself

Hey sarahface.I just left a reply about this somewhere else ! I said to give him the benefit of a drought and to clean the whole house top to bottom so it won't be any more old ones laying around.!

I went through the same betrayal that you did, but after a few months of bs, he finally came clean to me, because I gave him an ultimatum. Over time, his behavior was so much worse and we were fighting non stop, almost daily, to the point where it was becoming physical and he was making me crazy. It wasn't him and it wasn't me. We normally don't act like that, but all the bs he put me through made me crazy, and him acting like he didn't care about me or anything else for that fact, drove me more crazy. I did leave a few times, but it didn't help any. However, once he finally got clean, I've noticed a huge difference. He's been clean almost 2 months now. He's relapsed about 3x since being clean, but nothing major. Got back on track the very next day and he's been good since. He also attends meetings, I know I'm getting off topic here, but know exactly where you're coming from as far as lying, bs, and fighting goes. Losing your mind is all so normal when dealing with an addict. I learned my first time ever in life, last year. It sucks! I hope things get better.

Hi all, thanks so much for your support. I have found a really good al anon group which is very supportive to me and I am very grateful for that. Myself and my partner have discussed my behaviour and have worked through it. However my gut is telling me that he is still using. He lies about his whereabouts and I have noticed physical signs that he is using and he is showing all the old behaviours.. It is really hard to hear all the lies. mwhitney your situation sounds so familiar, I am glad to hear that things are working well for you. It sucks feeling crazy!

keep going to the meetings! and leave for a while. otherwise he will make you crazy and he will charge YOU with assault. i worry for you! take care of yourself first and by leaving you are forcing him to look at his reality

As painful as jainlor sounds , she is right about that. He will cause you so much pain. No good can come from a heroin addict. And leaving really would show him life without you. It will give him something to think about. Good luck every body.

Thank you for your kind words, I found out that he has been using again, I thought I could support him but I cant. I ended the relationship this evening. I feel terrible and worry about him. i will continue to go to my meetings and aftercare. Just out of interest Macho why do you say no good can come from a heroin addict?

hi , i know this is an extremely tough,confusing,frustrating situation..your partner might not be recieving the treatment or care he needs. It sounds like there could be past unresolved issues ...if you need any help feel free to text or call, i am a recovered addict and have worked in the field of substance abuse for many years
my name is Blake #3054143434

Hey Blake, can I text or call you too ?

Hi sarahface, I'm sorry your going thru this bullpoop. But you know, a heroin addict will say that no one is being hurt by they're drug addiction and they are only hurting themselves. But that's not true. It's just a way for us addicts to justify what we are doing. All in all, were hurting everyone who cares about us.
For one I'll start off by saying, I'm a heroin addict for the past 5 going on six years. I do other chemicals but heroin is my drug of choice.
Well to answer your question about why I said no good can come from a addict is because, it won't.!
An addict with lie, cheat, steal and hurt all whom are in they're way. Don't get me wrong, there are some addicts who are not thieves and can hold on a steady job for years. And I like to call those people dysfunctional functionals. For a heroin addict it's always gonna be a time when things get really hard and they might lose they're job and have no more money and no one is gonna want to keep giving an addict money to feed they're addiction. So they're gonna steal and with stealing comes lying. Have you ever seen ur ex man dope sick ? When he's sick from not having heroin.? Let me tell u, it's a horrible site. Imagine being sick with the worst flu, have the worst menstrual cycle, have the worst hangover and the worst stomach flu all balld in one all at the same time. Yea,that's dope sick. So for me that will happen to me if I don't get high every five hours. If five hours would go by with out using then I'm struggling to find a way to get high before that dopesick hits me. So if it comes down to it then if I have to steal, cheat or lie then I apologize because I don't want to feel that way. That's why some ppl even say that heroin will make a person do things they thout that they would never do. But they did for heroin. So it may not be right away. It may be a year or two. But the lying and stealing are gonna start showing up. And then you'll be left hiding the lil jewelry that you are left with, and next is your purse and then after you'll be changing the locks on ur doors and windows.
I'm sorry if I have offended you. Or hurt you in any way.that was not my intentions. Let me know if I can help you in any other way. Good luck my friend. Bye.

Thanks for replying Macho. No you haven't offended or hurt me in any way. yes the lying and stealing has been happening for quit a while now, he even went as far as attacking me so badly that i thought i was going to die because he had his hands wrapped around my throat so tightly. This was when he was withdrawing (around this time last year) and knew i had money. I left him but after a few months went back to him. I believe he is a good person in his soul, he has a beautiful heart and I love him. He went to treatment and stayed clean for a while then his behavioiur changed and he started treating me badly again to the point where i lashed out at him like mentioned in my first comment. He was lying and stealing again and using. I brought him back to the treatment center and they have offered to help him again which is really good for him. I guess why I asked what you ment by "nothing good will come from a heroin addict" is because i believe deep down he is a good person and don't want to give up hope that we could have a good future together......but he is still treating me badly, he has very little respect for me. I am a good and kind person I feel i have done everything I can for him and just get treated badly in return. It is like he is really taking advantage of my kindness and my life seems to be on hold for him. I have been affected so badly by all of this and cant help feeling resentful that he is getting the help that he needs and I am left a damaged heart broken mess. I am finding it really hard to let go and move on with my life.

Where is he now? In treatment or home and still an active user.? Because until he gets right then nothing will get better only worse through time. And look, I know you love this man and I'm more then certain he is a great guy. We were all good people before we became addicts. But don't set yourself up for disaster and allow your self to be engulfed with heartache. Your worth more then that and are extremely better then that. Believe me sweety.
If all this (let's say) wasn't happening to you, it was happening to a friend of yours instead. A good friend actually.
What advice would you give her?

Now that advice is what you would give yourself. Understand ? I hope so. I hope I didn't confuse you either. I wish you nothing but the best sweetheart. Let me know if anything else that I can help you with. Good luck and take care my friend.. Bye.

Hi sarahface1,
I can understand you situation, but as jainior said, physical violence solves nothing instead you should give him the mental strength in order to overcome his urges. It is common that even after the treatment people will show urge towards substance. Attending aftercare meetings after the addiction treatment is as much important as the treatment period in order to cope up with such triggers. Continue attending the meetings and try to convince him peacefully. There are so many treatment centers that are providing rehab programs and aftercare services. You can choose the best by checking the reviews in ( http://www.canadarehabreviews.com/ ). Try to attend such programs regularly with your husband. All the best. Stay strong.

Thank you Macho for your kind words. He finally went into treatment today. i hope this will help him some how. he only has a week in there which i don't believe is enough but may have a position in a sober house when he leaves which will have similar ethos to the treatment center and counsellors around the clock. In the mean time i will get to refocus on myself hopefully. Melanie yes I know that violence is not the answer there is never any excuse for it. We both attend aftercare regularly but he has been very reluctant to go since he started using again. I am exhausted providing him with mental strength, my mental strength has suffered as a result. He needs to want to do this for himself he is nearly 40 and has to come to some kind of realization by himself that he can not live this kind of lifestyle anymore!