This is a tough situation, considering that you cannot move out. But I give you props for being able to resist this far anyways.. in the long run though, staying sober long term will be extreamily difficult while living with ppl who use. I was in a similar situation & didn't have the strength to even attempt to quit. In fact it wasn't until I moved out of the entire state to get sober that I finally did get sober. Leaving the friends and the houses associated with drugs wasn't even enough for me, I had to leave the whole state. I was in rehab for a year & still stayed away for another year after that out of fear of returning to my home state, and when I finally did.. guess what happened? yep, I relapsed after 3 yrs of sobriety. just goes to show how seriously strong heroin addiction is. My first advice to you would of coarse be to get out of their right away no matter what it takes if u truly want to get sober for good... but u have made it clear that's not an option. I suggest u find a way to make it an option!! If you cannont... just stay strong I guess and keep up what you've been doing by staying in your room and away from all the paraphernalia. maybe ask ur roomies to keep their shit cleaned up when their done, so u don't have to see it laying all over the house, as it makes u wanna use and ur trying to quite! Hopefully they will respect that and try to clean up after theirselves better. If they don't, im not sure what to tell you man that's a real tough situation and I wish u the very best. remember your life is more important than anything, sobriety is more important than anything... and if leaving that apartment is what it takes to get and stay sober, u really should find a way to do that.. no matter how difficult. ur life is worth it trust me.

Thank you for your advice. I do appreciate it. As you can see I wrote that awhile ago and haven't had any replies. So to hear your words of wisdom is truly helpful. I'm still a addict, still living in the same place. And still am severely angry at myself and depressed. Once again I thank you for all your help. Let's keep in contact.

can you get yourself to a detox and free sober living.

Hi jainlor.thank u for commenting on my post. Umm, no disrespect to you in any way what so ever. So I beg you to please not take this the wrong way. Ill be completely honest to you and everyone else that may read this. But , I hate it when people ask me that question. But I'll explain why after I answer your question.. ummm yea it is. I have Anthem Blue Cross ( medi-cal ) insurance and would have to look behind my insurance card for the number on the back and call the number and that customer service is suppose to inform me o the places that will accept my ins. I am in an out patient program at the methadone clinic.
But the reasons why I say I dislike that question is because I'm embarrassed to give my answer.. well it's two reasons why. The first is because I was told by CPS that I was to go with my daughter but then the father told the social worker he didn't want me to and the social worker said they weren't gonna allow me to take her anymore. So I told them "well, no then, I'm not going" I know, that's selfish of me. But the reason why I'm embarrassed is because, I don't want to leave my MACHO. That's my baby, my life partner. He's my protector. I already know that many negative things would of happen to me before but didn't because he was there. He's my three year old bull terrier. He's my baby. He's a real family member to me. And I don't want to leave him because we are homeless with no family or friends so I would have no one take care of him for me . And thats true, I wouldn't be able to leave him with someone I can trust to take care of him similar to how I vs. He's very active and a handful to watch over. So, just know people would say to me " but hes just a dog ". But he's not just a dog. He's my companion, best friend, crime and my cuddler.
So there u are.please don't judge me,..thanks again . Bye.

I totally get it. I have a shitzu and she is not just a dog. she is a family member and we plan to go on a trip in april and it will be very difficult to find someone to take care of her so I get that. I think the best thing you can do to avoid triggers I guess is stay in your room as much as possible....reach out for help like you have been online in groups like this and maybe even online NA groups. if you have a strong will to quit you will do it. you can do it!!! how old is your daughter. stay strong ....and pray!!! I believe God will help you

Thank u. I believe he will too. I just don't know when he would. My daughter is eight months old and since she was a month old still to this day I'm only allowed to see her just two days a week an hour each time. I won't be able to see her til next week on Thursday but by then it will be three whole weeks. So you can understand my sadness that I carry within me.

Being constantly exposed to all that goes with the disease can't make it easy for you. I once heard a story about a crab bucket. I was told that if a crab tries to climb out of a bucket full of crabs, the other crabs will try to grab him and pull him back down. So I agree with Mary. No matter what it takes, get out of that environment and get around others who are serious about being sober. You want that for yourself, but if someone else has not made that decision for themselves, they are not going to be worried with how their behavior affects you. They may not mean to bring you down, but their actions don't support your goal to get clean and stay clean. Good luck and don't stop trying until you succeed.

Thank you don't stop.. I appreciate you taking the time to comment on my post. Yes I'm still looking for an inpatient program to finally get the help I need. I don't have a prominent or secure plan for my MACHO yet but I'm kinda taking that chance. I need my daughter just as much as she needs me and I'm never going to get her while sitting here and boohooing. I love my baby girl and I love my MACHI too. But I can't disown, forget or give up on my daughter. It's hard living here with another active user, putting our money together, scoring together and ultimately, use together. Mann, especially when that active user is my own flesh and blood. The one who's knows me the most and the longest. My poor mother. I wish I was fortunate enough that someone would read the things I say about her and I and offer to help us both out so then we COULD help each other at the end, all the way to the end. I don't want her to think I'm leaving her behind..I know what is going to happen if I go and come back,... I am gonna get tired of seeing her loving life and that's gonna make me relapse. I would have too move away from here.
Thank you Dontstop.

Unfortunately, you can't make decisions for your mother no more than she can make decisions for you. If you are ready to get help, you have to do this. For yourself, and for your daughter, and yes, for your mother, My parents were toxic for me and I had to walk away when I was 18. I moved several states away with a paycheck and the clothes on my back. I wasn't addicted but I did suffer at their hands tremendously. Your daughter will one day look to you and see the decisions you've made in your life. You have the ability to make sure you and she are proud of those decisions. Using together brings a different dynamic to a relationship, but it is not a healthy one. I still say, surround yourself with others who are serious about being sober. Let your mother know you love her but you need to do this for you and for your child. Good luck.

Thank you Dont stop. I wish I had some wonderful news to tell you. That I'm on my way to a inpatient program but I can't. I haven't been so lucky and had to put my searching on hold for my mother. Since we are all we have. She soon needs a intensive surgery . So if I leave , who will take care of her. Mann I severely dislike myself.

Are you much of a tea drinker? Drinking different kinds of tea and swimming will help your system !! If the body is in distress sometimes a vacation works wonders. Also keep daily inspiration whether it's a hobby or a book ~ peace