Hepatitis C Support Group
Hepatitis C is a blood-borne viral disease which can cause liver inflammation, fibrosis, cirrhosis and liver cancer. The hepatitis C virus (HCV) is spread by blood-to-blood contact with an infected person's blood. Many people with HCV infection have no symptoms and are unaware of the need to seek treatment. Hepatitis C infects an estimated 150-200 million people worldwide.
Hey friends. As most all us with Chronic HepC, whether active or cured now, are well aware, many of us deal with depression and anxiety. So, here's what's up:
My neighbor I'd given my bike to got hit by a car riding it last Dec 30th - so I stepped in to become his caregiver because he & I had already set it up so he would be my caregiver when I was to have my toe fusion surgery. Well, that backfired, of course, so all the free stuff I'd given him, meals I've cooked, errands I've run, doctors visits, etc. I took him to, I ended up having to pay $65 for someone else to drive me the 2 1/2 hours one-way to surgery & the 2 wk follow-up. So, yeah, I got miffed a bit, but said - hey, Tony, I know, you could help with my yardwork this year once you're all healed up (his ankle fractured and toes got mangled/ligaments messed up in foot, etc. during his accident). To which he responded with "Oh, maybe, but gosh I can barely keep up with my own!"
During the first errand he ran for me after surgery, he was like "Receipt? I don't worry about receipts. I never keep receipts." I said "Tony, I need my receipts" and repeated it twice to him without any reason as to why ("nunya," right?)... So, by the 3rd grocery-trip-errand, he found a way to ask for $10 that he said I owed him from a previous trip, and it wasn't true. and I am 100% positive it wasn't true. But since we're both 61-62, I don't know if he was really trying to steal from me, or just had forgotten himself, until he did the next thing. During that 3rd grocery errand, he claimed that the store didn't have any ready made bagged salad mixes. (There are 2 more stores in our tiny town, and he could've gone to a different store - oh, and did I mention.. he has no car, so I had been giving him my car to use - free, for whatever he wanted. All because I was so upset seeing him so depressed about his accident.
We were barely acquaintances who spoke maybe once ever few days to weeks, and then he started texted me every other day or calling, to ask about my foot once I had cut him off without explanation.
I feel so guilty for the Text message I then sent him to set the much needed boundary that I had let get way too muddied. And here's why:
I felt I had to back off, because during the time of his getting that extra $10 & salad no-show story, he'd made the comment during one of our phone conversations when we were figuring out logistics for getting me to get out to do my own shopping with his help the first time (so he could get the wheelchair cart for me, etc), he said, and I quote "I'm doing good just to not commit suicide every day."
I don't take that lightly. My father told me he would kill himself & when and he did. Sooo... a call to the suicide hotline helped some yesterday, but I can't let any neighbors know this situation, as I really don't want any repurcussions on my head, because I know the way he talks about other neighbors, so I'm sure I'm already the bad guy in the neighborhood (or will be soon enough). The poor guy is living in a home that has no heat, had a leak in the roof before I arranged with the other neighbor (my backup driver) for him to fix Tony's roof in January ... I've helped him as much as I could, until I caught him stealing outright - the 4th grocery trip, he kept the change. Only 48cents, but this is what galls me:
He lives on more money than my other neighbor who is married (& Mike & his wife have 2 cars & live on $986 a month, pay same lot rent; whereas, Tony has no car overhead and doesn't even pay for his own trash removal (he throws his trash in other people's cans), doesn't use his heater, and sits around and smokes pot all day long. He is broke by the 10th of each month due to that. He is also diabetic, so when I was running him to get his groceries, I saw him getting cakes from the food bank, and all kinds of foods that I know Insulin-dependent type-1 Diabetics should not eat.
And I was helping HIM? I'm sorry, I just had to vent. I have to get to the angry part of this because I've been in the worry & self pity part on how I might have sent him over his personal edge ... The man doesn't really want any help. He just wants people to take care of his needs so he can continue his sob story of "I had a bunch of money once, too, and I lost it all chasing around a woman in Sedona" - yeah yeah yeah - I quit yammering about the loss of my half a million bucks years ago - only mention it here for context. Anyone who continues to tell you their sob story time & again in resistance to getting better or coming through when you need them to ....? Well, that's when it's time to say ADIOS
My neighbor I'd given my bike to got hit by a car riding it last Dec 30th - so I stepped in to become his caregiver because he & I had already set it up so he would be my caregiver when I was to have my toe fusion surgery. Well, that backfired, of course, so all the free stuff I'd given him, meals I've cooked, errands I've run, doctors visits, etc. I took him to, I ended up having to pay $65 for someone else to drive me the 2 1/2 hours one-way to surgery & the 2 wk follow-up. So, yeah, I got miffed a bit, but said - hey, Tony, I know, you could help with my yardwork this year once you're all healed up (his ankle fractured and toes got mangled/ligaments messed up in foot, etc. during his accident). To which he responded with "Oh, maybe, but gosh I can barely keep up with my own!"
During the first errand he ran for me after surgery, he was like "Receipt? I don't worry about receipts. I never keep receipts." I said "Tony, I need my receipts" and repeated it twice to him without any reason as to why ("nunya," right?)... So, by the 3rd grocery-trip-errand, he found a way to ask for $10 that he said I owed him from a previous trip, and it wasn't true. and I am 100% positive it wasn't true. But since we're both 61-62, I don't know if he was really trying to steal from me, or just had forgotten himself, until he did the next thing. During that 3rd grocery errand, he claimed that the store didn't have any ready made bagged salad mixes. (There are 2 more stores in our tiny town, and he could've gone to a different store - oh, and did I mention.. he has no car, so I had been giving him my car to use - free, for whatever he wanted. All because I was so upset seeing him so depressed about his accident.
We were barely acquaintances who spoke maybe once ever few days to weeks, and then he started texted me every other day or calling, to ask about my foot once I had cut him off without explanation.
I feel so guilty for the Text message I then sent him to set the much needed boundary that I had let get way too muddied. And here's why:
I felt I had to back off, because during the time of his getting that extra $10 & salad no-show story, he'd made the comment during one of our phone conversations when we were figuring out logistics for getting me to get out to do my own shopping with his help the first time (so he could get the wheelchair cart for me, etc), he said, and I quote "I'm doing good just to not commit suicide every day."
I don't take that lightly. My father told me he would kill himself & when and he did. Sooo... a call to the suicide hotline helped some yesterday, but I can't let any neighbors know this situation, as I really don't want any repurcussions on my head, because I know the way he talks about other neighbors, so I'm sure I'm already the bad guy in the neighborhood (or will be soon enough). The poor guy is living in a home that has no heat, had a leak in the roof before I arranged with the other neighbor (my backup driver) for him to fix Tony's roof in January ... I've helped him as much as I could, until I caught him stealing outright - the 4th grocery trip, he kept the change. Only 48cents, but this is what galls me:
He lives on more money than my other neighbor who is married (& Mike & his wife have 2 cars & live on $986 a month, pay same lot rent; whereas, Tony has no car overhead and doesn't even pay for his own trash removal (he throws his trash in other people's cans), doesn't use his heater, and sits around and smokes pot all day long. He is broke by the 10th of each month due to that. He is also diabetic, so when I was running him to get his groceries, I saw him getting cakes from the food bank, and all kinds of foods that I know Insulin-dependent type-1 Diabetics should not eat.
And I was helping HIM? I'm sorry, I just had to vent. I have to get to the angry part of this because I've been in the worry & self pity part on how I might have sent him over his personal edge ... The man doesn't really want any help. He just wants people to take care of his needs so he can continue his sob story of "I had a bunch of money once, too, and I lost it all chasing around a woman in Sedona" - yeah yeah yeah - I quit yammering about the loss of my half a million bucks years ago - only mention it here for context. Anyone who continues to tell you their sob story time & again in resistance to getting better or coming through when you need them to ....? Well, that's when it's time to say ADIOS
I've been writing down all the clues or flags I finally started catching, and then backing up, I realize these types of folks groom their prey as skillfully as human sex traffickers (well, that's overboard, but it's how it feels right now).
And I have made a very important decision to not discuss it with anyone in this neighborhood, either.
I just logged into this site as I am not on daily.
Your story rings so true and is sad about the way some people are
in this world. We all want to believe we are honest. Unfortunately,
it is not always the case. Other people (especially if they are paying fo pot - which can't be cheap) just seem to find a way to get money regardless.
You did the right thing re the suicide. My sister did it when she was 29 and she didn't give any "cries for help"......I think that the ones that say they will do it, either need to go in a place for help and realize it is not a game to play or they get the help they really need.
Yes, keep quiet in your neighborhood about this or you will be the bad guy and you are not.....
Good luck and God Bless!!
cuz it does & it will continue to,
yet, also because since 2010, I've gotten to know the tone of a few regular people here, and I respect what I've seen by way of support, encouragement, much much MUCH consideration for one another, and some very intelligent folks, whose "opinions based on experience" I value and have come to trust.
I say that cuz being single for so long now since Bob died 15 years ago, I don't really have many close friends (esp. since I moved 18 months ago 6 hrs from where I used to live) that I see or can just even call up - I don't like to burden close friends with this type of thing - and I'm not having to do appts with my Therapist as often anymore (my local one moved away & I opted to do Skype appts with the specialist I used to have for over 3 years back "home").
So important to say this, too: I was taking on that man's depression as if it were my own to contend with in life ... someone asked me why I thought it was becoming too co-dependent. I'm not sure if that's a good example or not. Someone who is active in Alanon here could help me out with that, cuz I sometimes get confused as to what really is "passive-aggressiveness" (like Tony's report that there were no bagged salads - yeah, sure, give me an effin' break)...
Thanks again! I'm 6 wks post surgery & toe still giving me some bad break-thru pain. But good news is - I am completely off all narcotic, benzo, and muscle relaxant meds now!
That was also going on when this all happened. I was weaning off the Oxy that was only for post-surgery (it was sure a lot of fun about days 7 thru 14, I'll tell you what!).. and the Valium, as well. I'd already finally gotten off Soma some months ago (I think it was in November or December & then in January, the doc gave me 10 more to help thru surgery, but this good little "10 year addicted woman to Soma" took them all way before surgery! I really didn't want them, and now, they're not on my Pharmacy Insurance Formulary, and would take a friggin' act of Congress (almost) to get any more Soma - So, I'm glad for that & know that the doc will just have to provide Tizanidine if it ever comes to me needing a muscle relaxant down the road.
In the meantime, I'm not scheduling anymore surgeries (I need 2 more) until either April/May or next January and/or April. I'm just trying my best to fix all the joint damage the HepC and Cryoglobulin did to this body so I can enjoy traveling again!
I'm rambling. Sorry - planning driving across country a few times over the next 3 years is how I'm keeping myself busy during all this rain & not being able to get out anyway due to the foot having to be raised most of the time. Bye - I wish I could show you the cute videos I made of #ToeTalk (look that up on Facebook and you'll find it).