Somehow, some way, I knew the day would come when I could announce that I am finally rid of a nearly 15 year-long addiction to Soma ... I had been put on it a few months b4 my hubby passed; 3 months after which, my neck herniated in 4 places, so the dosage went from 1 a day to 3 per day, along with Darvocet (back in 2002) & Ambien. That went on for about 20 months, and I tried to commit suicide just b4 the 2nd Anniv of my hubby's death from lung cancer. After that, no local docs in the entire region would give me anymore drugs, so I had to deal with the pain best I could. Which meant I got into Breathwork and other things that eventually led me to a new area in life, a huge move 500 miles South, and finally doctors who would address my pain, for they didn't have knowledge of my suicide attempt. I was thus put back on Soma the end of 2005 and only tried to stop using it 2 other times in about 2010 and 2012, since then.

A little more about my personal story, cuz I don't think I've ever shared that here - I had been sober for 6 years btwn 88&92, and then drank for about 7 yrs or so while married, but quit again in 98, so was over 2 years sober when I'd been placed on the Soma (I didn't drink even when Bob died, nor for many years after he passed, though I do drink it now) I had quit drinking long before even knowing I had HepC - I quit drinking to get off Cocaine & change my lifestyle (I traveled with Internationally known rock stars way back when & lived with a Dealer in Florida). Alcohol has never been my big issue; my love was always Cocaine by my 20s, and poppin' barbituates as a teenager, so naturally, I would gravitate more toward downers or anything that reminded me of a Quaalude, which Soma definitely did!

Admitting I actually had become addicted to it finally feels so good. I used to say - how could anyone become addicted to Soma when you only get high from it for about 20 minutes? Then after being on it for 10 years solid, my high was down to only about 10 minutes sometimes, so I was realizing stuff & reading how they've quit prescribing it a few years ago over in Europe & the push has been on to get me off it since about 2012 & I finally DID it! Having a good meditative mantra, good souls in the world, and places like this where we can come together to celebrate & encourage are so helpful while staring down an addiction that was also tied into my grief over losing my husband (I just realized this year that this was the reason I was having such a hard time giving up Soma - because I had been put on it 5 months prior to his death & it was like the last living link to him - odd, but that was my breakthrough to be able to give it up).

My new doctors where I've just moved to are part of a coalition to stop Opiate Addiction in Southern Oregon (praise be to the Creative Intelligence of Men & whatever their or your belief systems may happen to be or not be), and have explained that once my neuro-pathways were opened to Opiates by way of having done Heroin for four months when I was 19, turning 20 (and it wasn't just Heroin, I tried everything during that 4 months that you could possibly shoot up, except for red wine - and I knew someone who did that - crazy living in Berkeley in 1974)... Anyway, they've told me once those are opened, our bodies respond differently to pain signals, and why we tend to have harder times being able to take Narcotic pain meds after surgery or injury & become addicted so easily to them again.

These spinal cord stimulators take care of about 60% of my pain from my neck down to my feet. So to finally be off drugs to take care of the rest of what pain I have is interesting, especially since I'm doing this post-surgery, where I can't even do stretching exercises until after I see the surgeon at the 6 week mark (Monday). Foot's still very swollen around that bone fusing together in my big toe!

So, now, I'm starting to feel pain again. Yet, the most interesting thing is ... I am NOT running to go get a Tylenol. I've probably not even taken that more than about 5 times in the past 2 weeks. So, it has only been about a week since I gulped the last Valium last Tuesday & the last 2 Oxys from surgery meds were on Wednesday last week. I'm elated. It can be done. I've picked an odd time to do it, but one more trick I realized would seal the deal on getting rid of my pill addiction was to stop taking all my blessed & much coveted Supplements! I'm serious! I'm not even taking the Amino Acids that help with Seretonin levels or ANYTHING during this detox and cessation. I just had to quit the habit of morning pills, because ..

I cried for 3 days prior to finally quitting the Soma last year. And I cried for another 3-4 days after quitting it. This year, when it came time to give up the Valium - for the crisis is over that has lasted a year with my Mom's health that had me ask for Valium for the first time in over 5 years ... I am finally off THAT, too! I was taking only 2 1/2 to 5 mgs once a day, and sometimes I'd go off of it for several days to weeks, so the past 3 months, my use of Valium had been sporadic, so that was easier, but ...

I still cried for 3 days after quitting the Valium, because it concurred with the "neighbor using me" issue that I shared about earlier. But I'm okay now. I waited it out. OH! And in the midst of weaning down & nearly off of everything ... my cat got sick for the first time in the 8 years I've had her for 3 entire days - she did not eat a thing! So, yes, we can conquer most anything, even when LIFE seems to be blowing up on us! Hahahaha

#ToeTalk kept me sane, I'll say that much - little videos I put up on my face book page that is Public View - Zenna Corinne - go see! They're hilarious!