I am struggling through life like I don't think I ever have before. The idea of throwing in the towel is often tempting but my anxiety about my mortality rules that out.

Don't be silly Hucksid, we'll all be dead soon enough. No need to rush the process. peace

When I was a kid I had visions of my funeral and people hysterically grieving. Now I know that people would be sad for a while and then they would discuss lunch plans and I would be in their past. So I try to keep in mind that every day is a chance to be happy. Some days I am successful. Some days I am not.
Please don't sent an expiration date on your life.

Hey J hucksid T

I took it as giving up on this forum...you are way too rebellious to
hang up on everything! or this forum!

Stick around, you still scratch an itch around here!

PLEASE don't. Tulsa is sooo right!! For the most part - except for your mother, Huck and maybe brothers or sisters. THEY will never forget and will be left with horrible GUILT - it's what suiciders leave their loved ones with and it's ETERNAL HELL.I know!!

I hope things turn around for you long before 12/1

I can relate....

Were you taking your own private poll concerning the right to bump yourself off in this country?

Your date seemed a bit tidy and reminds me of Brittany Maynard and the death with dignity issue.
Her date is 11/01/14.

I mean no offence, it's a big issue.

Is it inappropriate to ask what method you plan on using? I have a morbid curiosity. Feel free not to answer.

Maybe we need a new thread and we can all posts the dates on which we fantasize killing people who annoy us. My calendar would quickly fill up.

Personally I believe it should be everyone's right to decide when they wish to shuffle it off and find some release. I also think it is right to include loved ones in the process of decision, and to try to show understanding and compassion for what those left behind will go thru. They cannot possibly fully understand the reasons behind this kind of decision. I do also think that 'setting a date' is a little morbid, the time might not be the right time for any number of reasons, we cannot know if and when it will be: it could be tomorrow, it could be in 10 years, it might never be. I wish you well HuckSid, whatever you decide, I pray that any pain you are feeling, both physically and emotionally, does not cloud your judgement.

TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST:

I have to share this: I fight a daily battle on whether I should keep going on.....and how I would choose to end it.....sometimes I have so much wrong with me, it is hard to fight the good fight...BUT I HAVE TO!!!

It was weird Sunday as my adult son put his arm around me, hugged and kissed me and said "We need you Mom, around for a long time!" (He is not the type of person to do something like that).

Now, I NEVER talked about my inner thoughts....Hubby has shut any negative thoughts if I even bring it up....I did have a sister that shot herself (suicide) and another overdose (both at age 29, ironic).
It is harder to keep living than to give in - but the good days make up for the bad ones.....
YES, I want to be like everyone else and go out, have a drink occassionally - feel healthy - stop all this doctoring - but my life is what it is....I want to feel good!!
THE PAIN OF A LOVED ONE's SUICIDE - the survivor's NEVER GET OVER - I was in a state of depression after my sister shot herself for years......Blamed myself, of course....
This is MY LIFE, and sometimes the pain is unbearable, but I must go on.........
It is actually the coward's way out - Right now, I am having hard time breathing, but I will finish babysiting, so this little one will have love in her life.
It is easy to be jealous of all the others who make it, are cured - or never have anything wrong.....I get envious - but I also have other things people don't have.....KEEP LIVING!! KEEP FIGHTING..PLS

I didn't assume you were talking about giving up on your life, but some other issue.

Whatever it is you can spill it here if you wish.

I respect a person's right to decide about themselves, but most problems can be resolved and one thing is for sure - Things Change
Also sharing a burden helps me get through everything I've dealt with in life.

Hanging it up? Offing yourself? I'm not sure I understand.

Huck Sid...see how much you are loved...?? I love you and don't even know you...but I tell you , I was so sick the other night and couldn't breathe, stomach hurt, muscles screaming and I didn't think I ws going to wake up... I thought I had Ebola and no one would come in my house and I would die alone and God was not talking to me....my fear was overwhelming and ya know it was sad for a moment to think , wow this is what it is like to die alone in my house ...who will find me...nights get crazy thoughts..but I was so sick...I prayed the blood of the Lamb and fell asleep with no pain....not even sure what all that means...but it was healing....