Sov/Rib Tx btwn 5/17 & 8/8 this year: Geno 2b, no fatty liver or cirrhosis; cleared at 4 weeks, still clear is what I expect to hear next week when I go see the GI doc (after getting labs run later today). I can tell the HepC is not affecting me already. Physical Pain has reduced in other areas of my body, and it could be due to changing one of my supplements over to a high grade of Curcumin (Turmeric) about 4 months ago. I'll never know ... BUT, here's why I'm really writing in after such a long hiatus away (I've just been busy getting back to normal living).

Today will be the last day I take Soma. I thought surely I could get off that stuff easier than it's been, but after being on it since May of 2000, with only a 2 year break off it btwn end of 03 & end of 05, I guess it makes sense. But woke up with diarrhea the past 2 mornings, today is worse. No fever - just the Norco leaving the body, as I stopped that 2 days ago. This is typical.

But I faced another piece of my past history (about a man I fell in love with 3 months after my hubby passed) yesterday that shook me to my core. I had to tear apart a Sony AV Receiver he helped me pick out back in 2004, and the thing finally burnt out. As I unscrewed every screw, retrieving the CDs that the machine had eaten, I saw the dust and all the complicated wiring patterns, the communication decks, the ports, the memory boards, all that stuff ... each item became so intensely important for me to really get a good look at, for all of it was very representative of how that relationship was (or was not). And as I took each piece to the trash bin, I had the thought "If I had just turned away from that man 14 years ago, how different my life could've been." I chased my love for him for a solid 12 years. I let go of him in 2012, and now this. I just wasn't ready for that huge rush of emotions to wash over me that way it went on for about 2 hours yesterday afternoon.

Messed up my eating for the day, and now, writing about it, I'm tearing up.

I'm afraid I won't make it off this Soma. They won't give me anymore, and I've tricked my mind into believing they're already not making it anymore (cuz they've been saying for over 5 years now it'll stopped being produced). Anyway, my doctor had given me one extra bottle of 30 of these things, when I was already almost off of them a month ago, and I've eaten all but the final 5 of them, which I probably should just toss, but he said to save them for when my low back or this rib-popping out problem flares up real bad, then I'd have something to get me thru until I could get in to see him. I have scads of Norco, cuz I don't really like that stuff - but Soma has been my anti-anxiety pill equivalent for so long now.

I am down to 2 mg of Valium at bedtime (from 5mg, I was then cutting them in half & sleep was still just fine). But yesterday, I had to snag a 5 mg that I had left over (about 3 1/2 of those I still have).

I'm sorry for going on about the details, but it feels as though I'm gonna throw up any minute, I'm afraid to take my supplements (the ones I take before food), I'm afraid to eat. I don't know what puts me in this space. I'll get thru it, and I know that when people's energy comes together in prayer and healing energy thoughts, it works, so that's all I ask.

Thank you.