Hepatitis C Support Group
Hepatitis C is a blood-borne viral disease which can cause liver inflammation, fibrosis, cirrhosis and liver cancer. The hepatitis C virus (HCV) is spread by blood-to-blood contact with an infected person's blood. Many people with HCV infection have no symptoms and are unaware of the need to seek treatment. Hepatitis C infects an estimated 150-200 million people worldwide.
This is an offshoot of the stigma thread. It seems that most people posting have shame about iv drug use rather than hcv. Is that true? Is this disease shameful to people who got it from a dentist or blood transfusion or who don't know how? Personally, I think shame is planted in childhood, which is why it's so deep and deadly. But it feeds on things like hvc.The suckiest part for me is that there are times when I would really love support for the hcv but can't even tell people I have it without 'confessing" to a past that's none of their business. "Ex-junkie" is such an ugly label. There's all the shame put on anyone who does that by our society, plus the more internally-based shame of living in a way (due to the illegal status and high price) that was ugly and violent and against much of my beliefs. Hopefully having a discussion about shame will help us release at least some of it. Toward that end, and because I think shame feeds on lies, I want to say that, while I haven't admitted it for years due to internalizing the "bad, terrible" messages I've gotten -- heroin feels really, really good. Shot up, it feels even better. And striving for pleasure and ecstasy shouldn't be seen as shameful.
I don't agree that '"Ex-junkie" is such an ugly label". I refuse to buy into or feed into that stigma. Many have experimented with drugs in their youth...with certain drugs recreation soon turns to habit. I'm not proud of having been a fuck up so often in life but I'm certainly not ashamed of it either. TBH I'm just really tired of it at the moment.
And as far as how society perceives me...well, society and I have often been at odds. That's quite all right with me.
I will agree though the h feels really, really good...wish it weren't so damn addictive...
talking about it does help... it's a start anyway....
the friends I've told are still my friends.... and not afraid of catching it from me...
I try not to label myself or anyone else....
where only human....
so fuck 'em...
forgive yo'self
As I said in the other thread, in my generation (I am 68) there is a line in the sand where recreational drug use, especially pot, is acceptable, even some coke among certain members of my generation... but IV use and heroin are definitely on the OTHER SIDE of that line!
Societies view: Junkies are in a different class from the rest of society. Junkies are low-lives, whores, criminals, people to fear who will steal everything you have if you give them the opportunity. They are liars and not be trusted, and would hock their grandmother's false teeth if it would get them a fix! They are desperate people.
So, while I am proud of the person i have become, the person I AM today; proud that i quit that and quit cold turkey....I do not want to be associated with that image!
So, no, I do not want most people to know that it was being part of that life that left me this GIFT!
Yes, it is societal inflicted shame and i could choose not to buy into it, but I know it's there. We all do and that's why 99% of us are SELECTIVE who we tell what to and i think that is logical, intelligent and healthy to hold those boundaries. in the workplace, for instance, this is none of anyone's damn business!
That's not about shame it's just common sense.
I lost so many people recently, mainly due to legal drugs....
and it's coming for more.... I guess I have an F'd up attitude...
if ya can't beat 'em.... join 'em... stinkin thinkin... I think they call it.
Me - no shame. I wish I hadn't done what I did to cause this virus to enter my blood and body, but I did. And it was over 40 years ago. No drugs for many years, no booze for TWENTY-FIVE years come November. I have a smoking addiction that I'm going to face HEAD ON very soon. Heck, I can get addicted to anything - I think a lot of us here are that way. If it feels good, I want MORE. Guess HCV has made me grow up a bit over the past 18 months or so - when the little bastids started getting a lot meaner than they have been. If I want to stay alive much longer, smoking must go, and man, I need to eat good stuff and not crap. I want to gain 15 pounds - I NEED to gain 15 pounds. Hoping quitting the cigs and eating right will do that.
Guess I'm lucky though - no shame. Just not in my DNA. Maybe it's my insanely strong ego. Hubris - something I have to be on alert for, but as far as being ashamed of anything, I just can't be. If I had it to do all over again, hell, I'd prolly do the same shit I did.
FORGIVENESS is Divine. I hope everyone here who feels shame can forgive themselves and let it go. It'll take ya down if ya don't,, and you know that.
Peace.
@Rass,
What I meant was I don't feel shame and I'm not bothered by the stigma. I have a particular soft spot for fuck ups past and present.
I haven't told most people I work with just as i haven't told them about my ulcer, my alcohol issues or my myriad mental health issues because, as you've said, it's none of their business.