I'm here! I had to go visit with my mom.

Yeah, post tx, is NOT a walk in the park. I still haven't got back to my old self, and have finally giving up hope, that I will!

Let's see. I was finished in Dec 09. I haven't got my old self back.... and I guess I'm okay with it. Was just thinking the other day about how I used to be.

I am glad that me hair has regrown, tho...

What was it? Interferon done scrambled our brains?

I was finished in Oct of '09. Yes, it scrambled my brain! My memory is pretty much equal to my 80 yo moms!

the only thing that has come back is my hair lady! lol, at least it's gettin there. Been so depreeses i actually got drunk AGAIN! What the fuck am I doin?

Karmah, aside from drinking, what is the problem? You know, you probably shouldn't drink, so I won't lecture you. Whine away, it will do you a world of good.

Do you think that one day, the pharmecuetical companies will come out with news that we can sue Pfizer or whomever because we've all got tumors and shit

No, they cover their butts too well in the warnings. They are pros at it.

Trap, i have only drank 2 times since tx ended! I blame it on me being bi-polar, and the overwhelming depression I'm going through. What made u think I have a drinking problem? I wont name names, but, I know quite a few people who have gone back to their alcohol on a daily basis. I just have an addictive type personality, Might drink once every 2 yrs or so!

Karmah, I don't think she meant you have a drinking problem.

BUT you know what Cindy, I know that the first year off tx was really hard for me. All through tx, I felt so strong, and was dealing with tx. And it was so SPIRITUAL. When I was done, I was expecting myself to be this strong person that could do anything, and then I couldn't. I felt like Sampson losing his hair.

It just feels like such a letdown. This hope that fed me through tx, and me thinking I LOVE this new, strong and spiritual me. Then the brain fog cleared, and here I am, weak and at my lowest point EVER.. :(
But, I do feel little by little, that my old self is SLOWLY coming back. I hope so, because I'm so tired of crying and feeling sad. I know most of my grieving is for the loss of Berkley, and from my divorce. I'm just ready for a good break.