So here is my story. My husband had a series of heart attacks in July. At that point, he had a 60% blockage, which with an angio and stents was resolved. His widow maker, then, was 50% blocked. Left side of his heart shows heart disease. He was told to go to cardio rehab, which he went to twice. He refuses to change his diet, which was high sodium, high fat, high calorie. He was told in the hospital to go do a sleep study because he has apnea.
Over the last couple of weeks, he's been having a cough. He will go into a coughing fit which will cause him to pass out for 5-10 sec which to me sounds like VasoVagel events. So now, his nervous system is shutting down his entire body. He refuses to go in to see a doc.
He's become a different person from before. I've watched him go from being a funny, loving, guy to an angry, no humor guy. I know that that is somewhat normal as he goes through whatever stages of grief he needs to. But its hard to deal with on this side.
Whats worse, I am so angry all the time now too. I'm angry at him. I'm angry at him for having the heart attack....I had asked him to go see a doctor for two years prior to these events happening. I'm angry that he doesn't seem to take any of this seriously. In the hosptial, he was laughing and joking with everyone, while I was asking all the questions and tried to get things in order. When he went in for his checkup, his meds were keeping him on the very high side of normal. To him, that meant everything was fine and went completely off the rails diet wise. I'm angry that I am basically watching him commit a very slow suicide. I'm angry that he doesn't see what this is doing to his child, to his family, to me. I'm angry that everyone BUT me enables him. I refuse to cook anything that doesn't fall within his diet. But I can't control what he does outside the house. I can't control what he eats on the road when he travels.
I struggle because if I push him on it, he will dig in his heels and go the opposite direction. If I don't say anything to him, then he continues on winds up killing himself. It kills me that he acts this way. Its worse than any teenager. I have thought of doing the fix-yourself-or-i'm-leaving, but then he's doing it not for himself, which ultimately is why he needs to do it.
How do you guys deal with this? I'm I alone in being this angry? Am I unreasonable?
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