Healthy Sex Support Group
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Here's an adjunct to the "younger partners" thread. Since two people who care about each other can't help but rub off on each other and acquire each other's traits in a relationship, does that mean that they make each other feel an "intermediate age" between the two of them? If a 20-year-old is with a 40-year-old, does that mean both as a couple feel 30? And, while that's naturally good for the older person, is it good for the younger? Maybe good in the sense of acquiring experience and wisdom, but bad in the sense of acquiring the older person's health maladies-!
I work very hard to keep myself in shape, but I do have muscle aches and pains, and I sure as hell don't want to make a younger woman feel my aches and pains...would feel guilty about that LOL.
Opinions-?
I work very hard to keep myself in shape, but I do have muscle aches and pains, and I sure as hell don't want to make a younger woman feel my aches and pains...would feel guilty about that LOL.
Opinions-?
*heres to hoping everyone can keep this one NONjudgemental!*
As a person who is married to someone nearly twice my age...i think I can give an educated opinion on this matter...
As far as maturity goes, experience, wisdom, child rearing...yes, I feel taht my husband and I have "met in the middle." I certainly don't live the life of the stereotypical 22 year old, in that I have a career, I raise 3 children, I have bills to pay, etc. etc.
When we first got together, he was 31 and i was 18...it was a joke between some of our friends that we were a match made in heaven, because I acted like I was 25 and so did he. lol
As far as the physical part, I've not noticed anything like that. Allen has a very physcially demanding job, and he's quite a bit older, so he has had some health problems, operations etc, but none of that has affected me...well, except that I've had to take care of him after various surgeries, but I do that with a smile.
There is a huge difference in us. He at times belittles me and treats me like I am his kid. When we got together I was 22, had a good job, my own place and money. I was mature but also fun-loving.
We got married to have fun with each other and friendship. We love each other very much still. But in the last few years his health has failed and he is not well, physically or mentally.
While I have always dated men older than me, I have learned that it does not always work out for the best.
I am not saying that I am leaving my husband or anything like that.
He has always been faithful and tried to take care of me the best he can but I do believe that the age difference has been a big part of our problem.
Sorry if this is long or doesn't make sense.
Kool, in your example, a 20 yr old would feel like a 30 yr old PHYSICALLY. But why? Unless the 40 yr. old has contagious diseases that the 20 yr old keeps getting I just don't understand how a 20 yr. old would age PHYSICALLY into a 30 yr. old. That doesn't sound plausible. But maybe there's a way of explaining this.
I know in my experience that becasue of his illnesses I have developed my own illnesses due to the fact taht i was taking care of him and neglecting my self.
Well, my husband is 7 years older than me. I don't feel like there is a year between us. I have always been mature for my age so it worked out well. Neither of us were ever the party type but our friend were/are. We both wanted to have our education out of the way before we were married where all of our friends rushed into things. They now are struggling and some even still live at home with mommy and daddy. We have a nice home, I had a great career until I quit to become a stay at home mom which we both agreed upon. I don't feel that there is any difference with how we raise our child vs a couple that are both the same age. It has more to do with our own upbringing and how well we blend the two. We both compromise very well on things which helps. I have had more health issues than he has.
I think I keep him young and he keeps me grounded. There are times where I want to just get pissed and do the immature thing and scream but he reminds me that there is a better way to handle the situation. But that I think comes more from his years of having to work through BS because he is the sole provider for our family.
Anywho, JMO.
And, yeah, 10 years is not that much of a gap. 20 years I see as potentially a problem, when I hit 50 and she's only 30. But there's no one in that age gap at the moment who has shown any interest, so I'm not sweating it. Just wanted to get y'all's opinions.
Which is a frightening concept lol.
I believe it depends on the individuals.
My hubby and i are 20 1/2 years apart. And its alright, cause we do feel a medium, and i always got along with people older than me. Just worked out that way. Anyways, ya i think it does kind of make us feel an even 30ish in our ages. I make him younger, and he helps me be a lil more mature then i may have already been (although circumstances before him made me more mature anyway)
But i totally agree, cool post Koolman