Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Wasn't sure whether to post this on the healthy sex board or this one but its about our relationship so I went for this one!
My H is playing games with me, withholding sex. I think he's punishing me and Im not sure how to handle it. Do I play it cool? Have it out with him ( where he would deny it obviously!)
My H usually wants and needs sex every morning and sometimes in the afternoon.
Lately its dropped to twice a week at most.
He is still saying he loves me but doesn't feel right.
A few weeks ago I mis-fueled his car. A stupid mistake and it cost 200 to drain the tank and refuel with the correct fuel!
oooo he lost his temper when I told him. I thought it was best to be honest about it. I could have just pet it to myself as I paid cash he wouldn't have known. He went mental, telling me I had to go to the cash point and get the money to repay him ( which was stupid as I only have what he gives me, so its all his money anyway !) and he then cancelled a weekend trip to see my daughter to 'teach me a lesson' he said.
SO yesterday I took 50 out of the cash machine. He told me to take out 40 bu it wouldn't let me it had to be 50 increments.
He 'told me off' when I got home last night about it.
So I don't react really just be normal and pleasant, not get into a row. So I send him a sweet text saying I am on my way home, I need you and love you, please lovely husband take a Bluey and lets have an early night.
Well I got the cold shoulder and he just said he didn't want to and he wasn't going to.
I feel like theres some sort of power play going on here.
Definitely withholding sex.
Hes also miffed that I am starting my own business and am busier than I normally am, so not so available.
So what do I do?
My H is playing games with me, withholding sex. I think he's punishing me and Im not sure how to handle it. Do I play it cool? Have it out with him ( where he would deny it obviously!)
My H usually wants and needs sex every morning and sometimes in the afternoon.
Lately its dropped to twice a week at most.
He is still saying he loves me but doesn't feel right.
A few weeks ago I mis-fueled his car. A stupid mistake and it cost 200 to drain the tank and refuel with the correct fuel!
oooo he lost his temper when I told him. I thought it was best to be honest about it. I could have just pet it to myself as I paid cash he wouldn't have known. He went mental, telling me I had to go to the cash point and get the money to repay him ( which was stupid as I only have what he gives me, so its all his money anyway !) and he then cancelled a weekend trip to see my daughter to 'teach me a lesson' he said.
SO yesterday I took 50 out of the cash machine. He told me to take out 40 bu it wouldn't let me it had to be 50 increments.
He 'told me off' when I got home last night about it.
So I don't react really just be normal and pleasant, not get into a row. So I send him a sweet text saying I am on my way home, I need you and love you, please lovely husband take a Bluey and lets have an early night.
Well I got the cold shoulder and he just said he didn't want to and he wasn't going to.
I feel like theres some sort of power play going on here.
Definitely withholding sex.
Hes also miffed that I am starting my own business and am busier than I normally am, so not so available.
So what do I do?
You are right. Not just the sex but the rest of it too. Play his game. Pretend to not need sex. Get yourself off if needs be. Eventually, hopefully, the whole thing'll blow over.
Yes I am planning on becoming financially dependent from him. I only have money if he gives it to me. no way to live or run a marriage but heyho here I am
Likin your 'be sensible' comment Stillinthenight.awesome!
He just baffles me - its like he thinks its the 50'sI think its the way he was brought up. Not sure how to drag him into the modern day
day when things are good between you, youre WAY ahead of the game.
But now to the problem. I agree with Bubbabiker..walk around the house nude or close to it and he will eventually cave. Men are very visual . My girlfriend just walked form our bedroom to the bathroom to shower and already had her top off. I know we're having sex tomorrow ,but it was all I could do to keep my hands off her.
You show him some skin and he will lose this battle.
My H is 56 and semi-retired.thats how come we have the time and the energy!