I feel the same way, I'm a girl though. It's hard to judge what's normal and what is not when we are so sensitive to these feelings. Part of it could just be that you have different values than most guys. I've been single for the past 8 mths and many times I have wanted to have sex with men I have met but what stops me is the REAL me and how I would feel after. I know that if I had sex I would feel so guilty and like a slut. I know other girls sleep around, hell my sisters have sex with guys they date but it's just not in me. I am more of an emotional person in that I want to be emotionally connected to the people I have sex with. I would feel hurt after if we had sex then went on as just friends as to me sex is more than that. I would feel used. I would say most of this is just my values and some of it is just my over sensitive guilt meter lol. To me I don't find it attractive when guys sleep with there dates unless they are serious. I just don't like that. I don't see anything wrong with what your doing or rather not. Does sex have a deeper meaning to you? If so then don't beat yourself up. Why not lose your virginity to a great girl not just any girl?

how did your parents teach you about the birds and the bees? did you ever get caught masturbating as a child ? and if so how did they react? i felt guilty and shamed and dirty the first time i had actual sex and lost my virginity. i went home told my mother and broke down into tears.. but , and as she reacted crying and apologizing herself that day, because... when i was 10 , all my neighbors a bit older than me, had their periods, so i wanted mine. one day i was wearing a new pair of undies that my mother gave me, and i had a scab on my leg it is weird , i dont know why i did it,other than the obvious i wanted to be like them, i peeled the scab and dotted the blood on the undies. well my mom found them in the laundry, and assumed immediately that it was a result of losing my virginity. from that day forward till i lost it for real and told her, she called me a whore. i told her what i did, but she didnt believe me and i was labeled a whore when she got mad at me. also , i was a victim of sexual abuse starting at a very young age, so i would mimick the behavior sometimes, and my mom would walk in and catch me or id fallen asleep with my hand there, and id get an ass whoopin.
point is, i was made to believe that sex was a dirty thing and shameful, not that it was natural and should be enjoyed between loving people behind closed doors.
so if as a child you were not properly educated and you were also made to believe it was dirty , that would be where the guilt and shame originated.
thats my only thought on why.
well, maybe u are just a very good natured person, and in your mind sex isnt for :"fooling around with a chick your seeing" maybe to you it is sacred,and should be shared with people who truely love each other...
those are my thoughts.

I am probably uniquely qualified to answer this post. My X was 26 when we met and was also a virgin. I should have realized that was an issue! Or, rather that he had issues. I met him in 1984 and I married him a year later. He did not like sex and even though we had lots and lots of sex before we were married, after we got married, he made me miserable. After 22 years, I finally broke, and wept for six solid months. I would literally collapse to the floor curl myself into a fetal position and weep uncontrollably.

He simply stepped over me as if I were not there. 22 years of non-stop rejection were simply too much for me to bear. And what did he do with all my pain? Why, he cheated on me, what else?

Resolve your issues before you get serious with somebody. Don't do to someone what was done to me. Seek therapy!

His family background is not good. His parents rarely hugged each other, kissed each other, or said they loved each other in front of the children and rarely hugged, touched, or kissed the kids and hardly ever said I love you to the kids.

Does any of that ring a bell? PM me if you'd like.

that sucks tantric... :(

It does, Freakcjick. He posts on DS, but I don't intend to reveal his name because I do not want to run anyone against him!

just tell them that you like to go slow. in this day and age of so many people having casual sex, you still like to be more traditional and part of the fun is in the waiting.

heres a little story for you.

my husband and i talked online and on the phone for awhile before actually "meeting". we both felt a deep connection, even in just talking to each other. after we first met we spent the day with each other and then the night.

we started kissing and touching and things started getting hot and heavy. I was definitely far from a virgin at this point and he had been with 4 times the amount of people that i had.

so we are getting ready to get down to the main point of it all and he stops, literally on top of me, looks at me and says, "would you be mad if i said i didnt want to do this?"

at first i was crushed. I felt like i was just too ugly with my clothes off for him to continue. so i just said, "no. it's ok." thinking that i would likely never see him again after all of this.

instead, he surprised me by saying, "it's just...i have had a lot of one night stands...i dont want you to be one of them. i want you to be more than that."

still one of my favorite stories and now that we have been together almost 9 years, i appreciate it even more.

This may just be who you are and your personal morals and values standing up.

IMHO - There's nothing wrong with sex, making out, fooling around but there's also nothing wrong with NOT doing it either. You may just be waiting for the right one.

Don't let common behaviors and what you think everyone is doing cloud what you should be doing. Sex and intimacy are a very personal thing and everyone does things at their own pace.

What was your religious upbringing? I was raised Catholic and even felt guilty about masturbating until I was your age, 26, was convinced by the church and my parents, my dad anyway (my mom was shocked the first time she found skin magazines in my brother's and my closet when we were 18 & 19; by the time we were 21 and 22 she accepted that we were "hormones with feet" and that it was OK to wank; better than unplanned pregnancy) that sex was "dirty" and only for procreation. It took 'til I turned about 30 when I began to feel comfortable about the whole thing, and then my hormones were cooled down anyway lol.

babymonkey, i dont know if sex has a deeper meaning to me or not im just scared to do it with people im not sure if i like yet.. i have always compared myself to people and males in this society i feel are glorified by the more girls you have sex with the cooler you are. i not like that i even if i tried i couldnt do it. lol this makes me feel like less of a man for turning down sex. i need to quit comparing myself to others i just feel at my age i just should do it and get it over with i dont want to be judged by others by being a weird virgin. and yes when i was about to do it the real me stepped in and said this isnt you i should be proud of that fact

No.

Let it mean something. It obviously does to you or you'd have done it already.

You're making the right choices and decisions for you. Don't let whT you think society dictates make your decision.

you should care less about what people think. I mean I know its hard. you dont have to tell people your a virgin either... just tell them you dont kiss and tell. you will know when the right time for you comes.