Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Saduser013 02/03/2018

Hello everyone. I am 23 yrs old. Female. I have been in my first real relationship for 4 months now with another woman. We are loving, caring, and commited to one another. I... have never engaged in any sexual activity before her. She has unfortunately with two other girls before me. Anyhow, I enjoy being sexual with her. I do. I am just very self-conscious about not being able to climax and self-lubricate as well as she can. I have never been able to climax during masturbation and I can only self lubricate with the aid of other elements such as porn or when I'm with her. I feel bad about it honestly. Both things. Having an already experienced partner really intimidates me for that reason. I hate being offended by that as well but I cant help but feel jealous and maybe even threatened by it.

Gutted 02/03/2018

All women are different. Comparing yourself to her isn't fair to you or her. Some women lubricate more than others even the sexual arousal level is exactly the same for both of you. It's not a contest and human bodies are are all slightly different and respond differently to sexual stimuli. As long as nobody gets hurt and everyone's having fun, there is not right or wrong to have sex.

Some women don't get off by masturbating. It's just not enough of a turn on. That's normal for some people and it's not some kind of incitement of you not being enough of a woman.

Stop being so hard on yourself. You're creating a vicious cycle where you feel bad about, it makes it harder to get off, so you worry some more, which in turn makes it even more difficult to....

introvert61 02/06/2018

Here is an interesting and perhaps helpful link...

https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/features/cant-orgasm-heres-help-for-women#1

introvert61 02/06/2018

It pained me a bit to read your post. It's not unfortunate that your current gf has been with two others before you...it's just life. All of the people who happen to us help to form who we become.

Your gf loves you, and YOU turn her on.

Allow yourself to relax a little. What things do turn you on? Talk about them with her, do those things. Read information by Susie Bright and Dan Savage. Own your sexuality! It's empowering and fun. Someday, you are going to be the more experienced partner to somebody. We all start out a little bit insecure at first, Saduser...

Please keep us posted, and you will get through this, okay?

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