Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
So I recently had a relationship end (his doing not mine) and we decided to remain friends. This relationship ended almost 2 weeks ago because his feelings for me changed. 2 days after the breakup we had sex. He wanted it, hell so did I. He was beating around the bush to get me to ask for it so he didn't look insincere I'm sure. So I did ask and after him making sure I was ok with it, we had really good sex. 3 days after that he asked if I'd want to have sex again as friends. I said I was ok with FWB. Keep in mind I still have strong feelings for him so I'm playing with fire here I know. We texted about sex and he made sure many times it was okay with me, that my friendship means more to him than sex. We had also hung out for 8 hours that day, he had to leave for other plans and I continued hanging out with his best friend (who I'm friends with now too) so the texting was later that night. We had plans to hang out the next day to just him and I and we said we'd play it by ear about having sex depending on how we felt. That morning he texted saying he wanted sex. So when he came over we did, and again 3 hours later. And again Monday night and last night. I basically give in every time he asks me but I want it too. It's not just sex though. We hang out before and after and talk about everything.
Here's what I wonder.....its passionate, intimate sex. Like when we were dating. He kisses me with passion, it's not quick, it's slow and sensual and fast at times too cuz it feels good obviously. In the weeks before he broke up with me we only had sex 3 times and I felt used and it felt forced. Possibly because he felt guilty having sex with me. He pays attention to my body, he calls me baby and says my name a lot. He looks into my eyes and wants me to look into his. Ya we say we're fucking but it feels like more. To me fucking is rougher, less passionate. He says he's glad I'm in his life and asked if I was glad he was in mine and asked if I cared about him after he told me he cared about me (during sex). He has said these things outside of sex too since the breakup. We will lie there naked after, sometimes 30-60 mins and relax or talk. There is no "asking" anymore. He'll just come over to me and start kissing me.
Do you think this has any meaning? IMO you don't need making out and kissing to fuck and feel good
Here's what I wonder.....its passionate, intimate sex. Like when we were dating. He kisses me with passion, it's not quick, it's slow and sensual and fast at times too cuz it feels good obviously. In the weeks before he broke up with me we only had sex 3 times and I felt used and it felt forced. Possibly because he felt guilty having sex with me. He pays attention to my body, he calls me baby and says my name a lot. He looks into my eyes and wants me to look into his. Ya we say we're fucking but it feels like more. To me fucking is rougher, less passionate. He says he's glad I'm in his life and asked if I was glad he was in mine and asked if I cared about him after he told me he cared about me (during sex). He has said these things outside of sex too since the breakup. We will lie there naked after, sometimes 30-60 mins and relax or talk. There is no "asking" anymore. He'll just come over to me and start kissing me.
Do you think this has any meaning? IMO you don't need making out and kissing to fuck and feel good
That is just the way I see it and I want you to protect yourself and be ready if that happens someday. :(
I wish you luck my friend !
Beyond that, I think your beau is delusional. He IS in a relationship with you. He just doesn't want to CALL it a relationship, and doesn't want it to be a MONOGAMOUS relationship, so he, and you, can both keep your options open should either or both of you happen to meet someone else you like better, and then one or both of you can jump ship, to hopefully land on another person.
Yes, you're both playing with fire if you think you're both not going to get hurt. If you can accept and make peace with the fact that, if you don't make a kid, this is GOING to be temporary, and you're GOING to get hurt, then forge ahead, rock on. The way you two are going at it like rabbits, if you're not using any kind of protection, you're GOING to make a kid, so make peace with that also, and ask yourself how you're going to feel being a single mom, or will he step up and finally commit to you, or at least be a responsible dad.