Glad you're realizing it's not your fault. You shouldn't feel ashamed not even a bit. You deserve to have that connection! Have you guys went to counseling? Is that even an option?

He has recently told his sister that he would try counseling. If I am truthful, I don't know if I want to. After so long trying to explain things to him and him completely disregarding them (Since I mentioned the big D, he has tried here and there, but eventually it fades back. ...and this big issue for me I don't see being resolved)

You know what i think this is?.....I am surrounded by the old school ......for better, for worse, in sickness and health, and they take the care ofspouse and kids as a duty .....

He sounds like he really could care less about the big D since you said he fades back.

As for the old school, sometimes you have to go to the new school if the old school isn't making you happy but miserable all the time. I totally agree when the vows say all of that, however it's supposed to be 50/50 not one spouse carrying the whole load/weight on their shoulders. And definitely physical touch/affection is needed. Also a marriage is supposed to be a partnership, nothing should be a "duty", that makes it sound like you're in the armed forces or something, IMHO.

As long as you tell the truth? What does that mean?

If I am completely honest...I am not feeling like I want to waste any more time attempting again to open up and share all if he is simply doing this to humor me and prolong things...

http://www.hisneedsherneeds.com/

Maybe he can do some self help at home. Before you put in the effort. Make him show you he is serious. If you have a guest room move into it and give him a time line. Either he changes or you are out.

Sounds like he's turned you into his mother. He'll be happy to grow old with you cooking and cleaning for him as he happily putters around doing as he likes.

It really does not matter what either of you think, your marriage is technically dead at this point. Mutual love, trust and respect the basic building blocks of a marriage. Those are the components that spark romance, cuddling and sex.

A woman does not lose the right to be loved after fifty. You have another good 20 or 30 years ahead of you. How do you want to spend them?

Much differently than I currently am.

I have told him many times I am not his mother....maid...cook....nurse.....still kind of am..... :(

Shake shake things up by making dinner for one and eating it without saying a word. He's a grown adult who can fend for himself. For many women cooking is a way to show love and caring. Withdrawing that small token of affection will rock his world in a way that might enable him to finally wake up.

I made a similar post recently but it was about dating guys in my 40s that are similar to this. We need love, affection and physical touch. Im still searching. Best of luck to you! We all deserve it.

Oh and my first husband was exactly like this and we were married 10 years then I found out he was cheating on me (several different women). I was so devastated because I was like "u never want to have sex, but u go find it elsewhere and porn too". Took me a long time to realize it wasn't me. Because I always wanted sex but got tired of being turned down. It hurts.