Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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lovenature 03/29/2012

Ok i have a question espically for the guys !!!! I have been with a man that has major issues with being able to cum in a womens mouth while getting BJ. ITs been a big deal for many years for him. Last week it happened with me !!!! He says this is a major trust thing with him. He also says that last time it happend many yrs ago now it was just he was so incredibly drunk he forgot to be afraid. The other day it happend with me & i asked him was that the deal with me & he said no I know it wil happen with you next time too I know it !!! So seriously from a mans point if view is this really as big of a thing as I think it is ??????

montaname 03/30/2012

Well, I'm not a man, but wanted to say that I think the part about it being a trust issue is very true and perhaps a little anxiety over it, so maybe don't put the pressure on too much by emphasizing that you are too excited about him performing the next time. Just let him relax with it.... and yes, I think it is a big deal. You must have broken through on some level and you should be happy about that, have fun

Oh and btw, good...uh...job.lol

lostsoul72 03/30/2012

Well IMHO it is a trust issue for some guys and myself included. First and formost I would never ask a woman to do that. It would be here choice and what she wanted. Some guys have hangups with it being gross and i know guys that wouldnt even kiss there girl after until she brushed her teath and washed her mouth out.

I would say good for you and you deffinatly broke through some barrier with him.

lovenature 03/30/2012

the really funny part is that i also have issues with this. I have never really like giving them & never thought i was very good lol He has never presuered me into doing it & I have never made a big deal out of if he cums in my mouth. He even said you do this because you love me right you like it because you love me & I say yes your the only man I have ever really liked doing it for :) I had always hoped I could get him to do it but i never said anything about it :)

jake4 03/30/2012

From my point of view...I never really had that issue. I guess I'm like a loose cannon haha. But some guys may be shy or worried about upsetting you or something in thier head. I would work on your communication...maybe motivated him a bit...tell him you'd love it if he did and it would be a huge turn on. Hope it all works out!

deleted_user 03/30/2012

if you blow it he will cum. ok, that was my first thought. but my real thougt is that he probably was trying so hard to cum that he basically jink himself out of doing it. so now the cats out of the bag and maybe now he'll be better at it. it's all about relaxation and not trying to make it happen. you almost have to just focus on the fact that it feels really good and anything else that hapens happens. you know?

montaname 03/30/2012

This really is cool and exciting. Opens up a whole new level of happiness. Way cool

tossedaside 03/30/2012

For me, this is a really big deal as I am yet to climax from a BJ, trust, imp, is definitely an issue, along with a prior bad experience.

Kudos to your man for letting go and to you for taking it in.

BRAVO !!!!

deleted_user 03/30/2012

Lovenature, I hope you and he enjoyed the experience.

I am curious...as it is mentioned several times here- I never considered / perceived receiving a BJ associated with trust issues... Can you enlighten me.

Yes, some of my partners did not want to kiss me after I finished them, because they have hang ups about their own fluid, but I never thought about how that relates to trusting your partner.

lovenature 03/30/2012

nancy- he said once someone accually threw up on him when he did cum when he was very young. It totally freaked him out & he just couldnt cum in anyones mouth after that. I can understand that lol. Yes I did enjoy the experince even more so knowing what it ment to him !!!! He is also the first man I have accually like & wanted to do this for because i have had my own issues with it but I truly love him & want to make him happy. Also he has never pushed me to do it & always left it up to me & what I am comfortable with.

deleted_user 03/30/2012

I can't ejaculate because of my medication...I can cum...but no mess

koolman 03/30/2012

Maybe he thought you'd be so grossed out you'd accidentally bite his dick off lol.

deleted_user 03/31/2012

Well, a gag reflex can happen. Is he afraid of that happening again? I hope it all works out.

des10ed2b 03/31/2012

it is really matter of preference. getting a bj is nothing for my husband. he doesnt have to have any trust or emotional attachment to do it.

me on the other hand? it takes a LOT of trust to let people go down on me. it is NOT something i would let anyone do.

reveal321 03/31/2012

trust is the most basic need for any type of sex.
you have to trust someone enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable without judgement or criticism.

deleted_user 03/31/2012

trust me...you will like it. :)

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