So I just had a baby 6.5 weeks ago. My fiance and I  are already having sex again, but it hasn't been very good. I'm having a lot of trouble having orgasms, which is very unusual for me. 

Part of the problem is that my fiance keeps wanting to skip over foreplay. He gets so over-exited, and just doesn't seem to realize that just because he's completely aroused doesn't mean that I am. So, of course its painful when he first puts it in. And then he isn't lasting very long (been a problem the entire time we've been together), so he's done by the time the sex is just starting to feel slightly good to me.

He never offers me oral, though I give it to him all the time (he gets butthurt if I decline when he asks me to for some reason). The other night he was asking me for a blowjob, and I said I would do it if he was willing to repay the favor. He was a little weird about it, but he agreed. I gave him the blowjob then he and I started talking and then next thing I know he's saying he wants to go to bed. He never held up his end of the bargain. He told me the next night that he doesn't offer me oral because he feels weird about it after watching me give birth and get stitched up afterwards. I honestly find this remark to be incredibly hurtful. I went through hell carrying and birthing our child. I know my body isn't completely back to normal, but now I just feel like he finds me repulsive and undesirable. Yet he suddenly feels entitled to something he's not willing to do for me.

And of course, my body is still putting itself back together, and things don't feel the same as they did before. That's a huge part of why it bothers me so much that he doesn't last as long. I need more time with him to figure out what feels good for me now.

And despite all of this, I still have to listen to him tell me I'm beautiful all the time. Frankly I want to smack him every time I hear it because a lot of his behavior makes me feel unattractive. He's inattentive to my pleasure (he seldom was before the birth), and he's apparently weirded out by my lady parts. And yet, he keeps insisting that I'm very attractive and gets upset if I don't agree with him.

How do I begin to discuss how his behavior makes me feel? He's very sensitive, and he feels like a failure every time I don't orgasm during sex. It doesn't matter if its because my body is still just not cooperative, or if its because he's being lazy. He still gets upset with himself, and I hate seeing that. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm really sick of having shitty sex.