What you have to do is relax and stop worrying about it happening. The more you think about it and worry about it, the more it's going to happen, a self-fulfilled prophecy. If it happens, explain to the woman what's going on and I would think (or at least hope) most women would be understanding of it.

Relax, concentrate only on the sensations you're feeling, what you're doing to her and clear your mind of wondering if junior is going to cooperate or not.

yep agree with leather. if you have a trusted girl then she would be willing to spend the time to get you to where you want to be. i think an evening where she's totally attentive to you and there's no pressure to perform is best. then she can give you oral and hopefully she does the right things to get you up. and of course once you're up the world is your oyster. no actually it would be her oyster.

good luck. report back when it happens.

I totally agree with Leather's comment. Also, have you told the lady you are with that it is your first encounter? It make take help take some anxiety out of the situation if you haven't tried that yet. Just remember to get lost in it, relax and enjoy!

I totally agree with leather. One thing I've found that helps with this is focusing on her. Sometimes I get nervous and have trouble, but focusing on her allows me to relax. I go down on her and focusing on her pleasure, and maybe a little self stimulation and that allows me to relax enough to get it up. And this also helps her get going as well, so it's a win-win.

I appreciate all the help here everyone. I wish it was easier but I hope to somehow figure out how to just relax and make it happen. I know it's gonna take time and any additional advice is welcome!

It doesn't sound like Andy's actually in a relationship - he says he's been fooling around with "girls." This hurdle might be overcome more easily if you were to try this with someone you could actually talk to - not just some random body. I'm not saying you have to be in love or anything - it just might happen more easily with a person you can communicate openly with and know that she cares.

i totally agree with Okie. leather's comments are great and all but Okie's, OMG that's some serious counseling. You'll have a hard on for days following HIS advice.

:) leather you rock it out

I would be completely honest with the next women your with and tell her she needs to teach you about sex. That you need help getting past your fear. Pick somebody that you have good chemistry with and is a friend as well as a lover. Go for walks with her, open up about your past.. She will take it as a challenge to bang you. It will be like a trophy for her. If you put it all out there right, you will be past this part in no time. An amazing women thats not shy about sex will kiss you, touch you, and do things to you that you only dream about and it will all just happen.

Good luck.

Okie's advice is also good. I must have started typing a response before I saw his post. Don't want to step on any toes here. Okie's advice is awesome too!

There, Okie, I gave you some credit. That is what you were fish for, right?

I was kidding but thanks Life :)

It actually was good advice. ;)

How long are you getting to KNOW these girls before you both strip down and attempt to go at it? If you just met, that might be the problem.

Hang out with the girl, spend quality time with her, find out how she likes to be touched, get familiar in the sense of just giving her back and neck rubs, build a comfort level.

I too attempted to have sex with someone I just met back in my 30s, and I didn't really like her, yet she was giving me a blowjob and I was trying to get into her pussy. It too was a nerve-wracking experience. The fight-or-flight syndrome was in full-bore; charge ahead, then recoil.

I got it up OK for the blowjob, but when it came time to plug into her pussy, I too was having performance anxiety, and couldn't keep it up. Part of me was saying "I hate you", the other part "look at that ass".

Usually takes me 3 dates to begin to feel comfortable with someone.

Also, if you LOVE the girl, that helps. Comes with getting to know her.

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