Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Performance anxiety

Maiden17
Maiden17

Hello all. 


I suffer from performance anxiety when it comes to sex. I will be hard, then either I will lose my election as I go to penetrate or I will lose it during sex. I have tried a couple of things including cialis which has sort of worked, and I'm trying some herbs such as horny goat weed. But this is tearing my marriage apart, my wife has told me she cannot stay in this relationship without a good sex life and she is not happy. 

RobertH
RobertH
This must be difficult. I'm in a same-sex relationship. My husband would like for me to penetrate him, but I have similar issues to you. I have a difficult time maintaining an erection for penetration and it has strained our sexual relationship as well. Have you considered seeing a sex therapist? I've heard they can be really helpful in improving these sorts of issues. I've thought about it for us.
lvplay
lvplay
You might want to look into cognitive behavioral therapy or maybe hypnotherapy.
Maiden17
Maiden17
Unfortunately therapy didn't really help
Aronia
Aronia
It is possible that there is a vicious cycle happening of you fearing failure and your wife anticipating failure, so of course, nothing good comes of it.
Sex is so much more than just penetration... has she worked with you to help you feel more confident ?
If my partner told me our relationship is on the verge of a break, I d have performance anxiety too!
I would think that if someone truly loves you, this person would do anything and everything to help you.
When you masturbate, do you have any problems or just with her ?
Maiden17
Maiden17
The problem is only with sex, if we do other stuff, such as oral, it is fine. She has been very supportive, but understandingly she does get frustrated, as I do. It is a cycle where I feel like I will fail, go soft etc and that is ultimately what happens.
Shaun46
Shaun46
Mate. Try the durex pleasure ring, it keeps you rock hard and you can enjoy the moment rather than worry about whether you will lose your erection. Let me know how you get on.