at some age talking about masturbation & talking about sex in general SHOULD be done, b/c if they don't hear it from the parent, they definitely will hear it from the "street" or from a friend, foe or otherwise at school.
So, the idea that you shouldn't tell a 13 yr. old, doesn't hold much water b/c there's bound to be talk at school or among friends about sex.

Now telling a 7 or 8 yr. old may be a different matter.

Yep, I say wait until puberty.

Watching this episode right now, Berman is talking to a 14-year-old couple who want to have sex, and she STILL hasn't brought up SELF-pleasuring (or even mutual masturbation) as an alternative.

koolman would u want ur 14 yr old daughter holding a penis i don't think so

Huh? That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I'm all for the mother of my daughter preaching masturbation as an alternative to her holding a penis.

Playing with her pussy I mean, NOT holding a penis.

Let me re-phrase (I wish we could delete these damn posts):

If I had a teenage daughter, and the daughter was sexual and wanted to date a guy around her age, I'd be all for my wife talking to our daughter about the daughter pleasuring herself as an alternative to having the guy's penis in her.

I sure as hell wouldn't be the one to broach THAT subject with our daughter!

That's what the Oprah episode was about. Incidentally, this female Dr. Berman didn't once mention masturbation to these 14-year-old kids on the show who wanted to have sex with each other (too much liability I imagine), although she did mention, in a cryptic way "there are other ways to express your love for each other that have no risk".

I understand exactly what you are saying, koolman.

In my opinion, kids are going to want to have some sexual relief. I never met a kid who didn't, although I've heard there are kids nowdays who are opting for that path. That said, I believe masturbation is the safest method of obtaining that relief.

I'm assuming what she was talking about was chosing to not engage in sex on the date and masturbating after getting home. In mutual masturbation there is still the risk of STDs, plus it would be much like pouring whiskey into the mouth of an alcoholic and saying "Don't swallow."

Depends on the family I suppose and how comfortable you are talking about things with your kids. If the parent isn't comfortable with it, it's going to be blindingly obvious to the kid.

For myself, I'm quite relieved that I was left to discover certain things for myself.
But then, my family was so dysfunctional that I was always grimly determined to never breed - I suppose that's another way to bring down teen pregnancy rates!

I was sexually abused ad was made to feel nothing but shame for having feelings.

I think shaking off the shame and repression of this society is good and healthy and empowering.

I think teaching a healthy view of sexuality is good.

We HAVE to talk to our kids about sex, at the level they are ready for, of course. Otherwise they WILL talk to someone about it, and do we want them to get information from US or from another?

I think that we as parents should take on the responsibility of talking to our children about sex, and everything else that we deem important. If you dont talk to your child they will become educated elsewhere, and you might not like the education that you found out they received!
My daughter is 11 and in school this past year they had an auditorium session for all of the girls in her class. To talk about what is happening to them physically and what is still to come. My daughter and I had already had this conversation. But I askewd her if she wanted to attend anyway. Of course she did b/c she didnt want to be the only girl not doing it. So I insisted that the school send me home a copy of what they were going to tell her.
My nieces school wanted her to attend health class, and in this class learn how to put on a condom. My q is why is it necessary in her schooling for a 14 to learn how to put a condom on a man. IT IS NOT THE SCHOOLS PLACE!

Sorry I'm ranting but it irrks me when ppl shirk there responsibilities.

In the end if it came down to one of my kids havin sex or masterbating. I would be to the sex store today to find a toy for them!

A child doesnt learn about sex until about 5th grade. Parents know theyt have this 11-12 year head start to talk to their kids first if they want to. hell when ui was in 5ft grade a few kids had to leave the class because their parents didnt want them learning about it yet.... so if you dont want your kids to know... by all means pull them out of class during those days.

Kids learn to masturbate at a young age...2-3 years old. It's a natural thing. In my opinion...parents should not discourage this with, "get your hands out of your pants" or "that's nasty....stop it." Instead they should teach..."that is something you should do in your room with your door closed." The parents don't have to address it any further than that. Don't label it as good or bad...dirty or fun....just label it as something that should be done in private.

If parents don't freak out and think that their child is nasty or that they've been sexually abused (which should be looked into...just to rule out the possibility)...then the child will know that self-pleasuring exists and he or she can take care of themselves.

Parents should discuss it with their child's doctors to find out what normal is for their child's age....

When the child nears puberty...the parent can talk to him/her about it as a form of sexual pleasure...