there are just a plethora of people who JUST look at pics and send a message without reading a profile. there are also a lot of people who view THEMSELVES as particularly attractive despite being older, heavy, etc and think that YOU are the crazy one for not seeing what a catch they are!

remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just be polite and message them back, "sorry, i dont think we are a good match. best of luck to you." that is what i do. if you dont message them back at all they are just going to keep sending messages.

I have also wondered if people are being dishonest with themselves about what level of person they should be able to attract. I see lots of posts on DS about being unhappy with the types of people that contact them on dating sites. (To the effect that they are not attracted to the other person usually the people contacting them are not attractive enough)

I am not immune to this either. I have gotten so many responses from guys who are several inches shorter than me. I even get recommendations from the sites themselves for these guys!

Also, I have a beautiful 22 yr. old daughter and I am dismayed at the number of men my age who state that they would date a 21 year old (and sometimes an 18 yr. old!). Like I want to worry that a guy Im dating is wagging his tongue at my child!

I know that I have had the opposite problem in my life, in that I ended up with men who were far beneath me in the sense of not having a strong character and moral fiber. And they were not lookers, either. So WHAT the HELL??

I know my picker is broken (and I wont go into detail about my dysfunctional family and all that crap) and so I remain single.

I am not so nice as to respond to emails I am not interested in. I know that may not seem nice, but I have read that is to be expected in this day and age. I also have not actually gone on a date with anyone from a dating site.

I alluded to this issue of mismatched couples on another board and I got ripped a new A-hole by some of the women on there.

Well, you're 54, so, if you're looking for a 20-year-old Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, not gonna get it, unless she's a gold-digging leech (better have fistfulls of $20s and constantly be shopping with her for clothes and jewelry).

But, if you stick to a 10-year-younger margin, well, you see what you're looking at: Divorcees, women who I'm sure are nice, but who have been around the block a few times, who have probably popped out a few kids, are heavier, more tired, burnt-out, more jaded, more cynical, more critical in what they want out of life and in a man, a little worse for wear.

I'm in the same boat, approaching 50, generally in good shape, unencumbered by an ex or kids (didn't fuck much when I was younger), and I too see the situation "dimming". It's depressing.

I'm sure there are some nice fitness junkies in your age bracket, but the pickens do seem to be getting slim! I'm of the opinion early 30s is probably the right pool, but then, in your case, we're talking a 20+ year difference, which is a whole generation. Maybe you two will have something to talk about-?

Still, keep talking about what you DO want, and keep ignoring or politely thanking the ladies for their interest and then kindly rejecting them who are what you DON'T want.

From my experience with online dating many people seem to look someone to meet their needs first vs really thinking through what they can offer to their potential partner.
I also got tons of messages from people who clearly did not read my profile or did not pay attention to anything besides my photo.
It

..good luck to you......................when i'm usually looking for something in particular I usually get the opposite. I think it's life trying to be humourous.

Im not living a pupe dream (pardon the oun). But I do want someone I'm attracted to and has similar interests. I take care of myself and want a woman who does too.

Well put in your profile - old fat chicks who arent into the same things I'm into need not reply. I'm sure you'll get a lot less responses

phoenix-----------------kinda. hubs and i have a joint profile on an adult site.

Sorry, sent that reply from my phone.

If someone put an effort in to a message I'll send a reply if I'm not interested.

And I kind of think that most people are good, loving people and sometimes it just comes down to physical attraction to tip the scales.

I'm with bedhog...one of the first things I looked at (when I was on a dating site) was the age range the guys were willing to date. If it was under 25 I just hit the back button without reading further.

Nolaguy, you shouldn't have to settle. There were a few things that I was pretty blunt with on my profile, don't be a drunk, be in shape and have good table manners. I think the guys thought it was pick one or another, not have all 3. I also got the psycho stalkers that did enough detective work to physically find me through the sport I played. I ended up taking my profile down after that. I've just come to realize people (men and women) are just crazy in general in one way or another and being single and by myself isn't all that bad :)

Match.com has this feature where you can suggest a perfect date and people who are interested can respond to your date. Try putting things that you like to do for exercise (examples...tennis match, jog the trails of local nature park...etc.) That way you get responses from people who enjoy doing those things also. Or,...forget the dating sites all together and just start hanging out in those places and strike up a conversation with the people around you.

phoenixbooie: maybe you can be the hot young stud for an 80 year old who's looking for that younger man with spunk!
that would be YOU!

Des, now I think I'm falling for you.... ;)

What are you talking about??? You are something else, that's why. They are scared to approach you because you are too good bro:). That's my opinion. It clicks when it clicks and often we don't even know WHY.Try without the picture:) haha

um . . huh?

*scratches head at Casalina's remark*

Nolaguy, I think what you are experiencing is that everyone can be a little misleading about their online profiles. I clearly state in mine that I don't want any more children but get messaged by men that have in their profiles that they do want more children. When I ask them about this they say that only if they found the right woman would they want more kids. I really think they list that on their profiles to cast a wider net in fishing.

If any of these women seem attractive in any way, ask them a few questions like: "What attracted you to my profile and what do you think we have in common?" You might be surprised at the responses you get.

I've found that people are not as articulate in their profiles as they are in person. Some people just don't know what to say or how to sell themselves. The guy that I am currently seeing really undersold himself in his written profile, but in person was so much more interesting and intelligent. I'm glad I gave him a chance.

Good luck to you.