Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I sick, headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try That."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great, I be work soon.....hey you got nice house."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try That."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great, I be work soon.....hey you got nice house."
headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his
groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the
man
replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping
his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants
and put her hands inside. She administered
tender and artful massage for several long moments and
asked,'How does that feel'?
He replied,'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they
struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and
said, "So why are you here?" The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I
piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the
final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's
bed."
The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna
cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon
it'll calm me down.
"The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked why you are
here?"
The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig
up the carpets but I went over the line last night when I dug a great
big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are they going to do to
you?" the black Lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts
too", the dejected yellow Lab said.
The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked,
"Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the
table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and she was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her
back and started hammering away".
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,
"So, nuts off for you too,
huh?"
The black Lab said...."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
Perhaps we should rename the Healthy Sex thread as "Amateur Night"???
Now, Who is up for some blonde jokes???
POOF, THE LIGHT GOES OFF
A 76-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Ethel," he says, "Harry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"
"Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's pissing in the fridge again!
How's about some topical humour:
"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run for life, because she probably has a granade in her mouth!"
Funny shit, huh? Take my wife...please!