Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself
At a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
Sergeant Major for conversation. 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a Conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'
'1959, ma'am.'
'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1959!' She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1959!'
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'
(Don't ya love military time?!)
At a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
Sergeant Major for conversation. 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a Conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'
'1959, ma'am.'
'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1959!' She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1959!'
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'
(Don't ya love military time?!)
The Spoon:
A lesson on how consultants can make a
Difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new
Restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our
Order carried a spoon in his shirt
Pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy
Brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in
His shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the
Staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve
Our soup I inquired, 'Why the
Spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's
Owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After
Several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most
Frequently
Dropped utensil. It represents a drop
Frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per
Hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we
Can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15
Man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon
And he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I
Go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right
Now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string
Hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the
Waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he
Walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why
You have that string right
There?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also
Learned that we can save time in the
Restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our
You-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate
The need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom
By 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how
Do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about
The others, but I use the spoon.'