Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I am 49 years old and so is my boyfriend. We have been together a year. For the first few months sex was great but after that it just kinda died. We go for a month at a time without sex. Every now and then we may get each other off but intercourse is few and far between. I tried talking to him about it but that only makes things worse because he says it makes him feel pressured. He sends me all these emails at working teasing me about the things he is going to do to me when I get home but once I get home its a whole different story. I end up being disappointed time and time again. I am not being satisified at all and its frustrating. I have never had this problem with any other partner. I love sex and I enjoy it often but I can't help but feel rejected.
If he won't talk about your sex life with you, he won't have sex, he's not willing to work with you on making your sex life good, finding a middle ground where you can both be happy and satisfied, I'd say it's time to decide if this is the relationship you want to spend the rest of your life in.
You can either choose to accept him and your sex life or lack of "as is" without having resentments or decide you want more from a relationship and choose to move on.
That is controlling, manipulative behavior. It keeps you off balance and gives him control. I would wonder if the problems go much deeper than just not having sex.
I"m sorry for what you are going through.
Teasing is fun, it's exciting, it's arousing and I love it but only if it's going to be followed up with action. If he's going to talk the talk, then he better walk the walk.
I agree that it's manipulative and controlling behavior.
And I agree with Leather that it's time for you to reevaluate your relationship with him.
Everyone deserves a healthy, loving, and active sex life that matches their needs. Everyone.