Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
This is very self-esteem lowering.
My boyfriend and I are sexually active.
Sort of.
In the beginning of the relationship, he was down for sex pretty frequently.
Didn't bother me. For a woman, I have a very high sex drive.
But as the relationship moved on, he wanted less and less.
Which, I didn't mind, but it's down to a null now.
I'm lucky if I get..erm.. lucky, once a month.
He usually makes excuses, but lately it's just "i don't want to".
What guy, would rarely want to have sex?
The weird thing is,
is that I make him hard all the time.
most of the time without even trying.
But he never wants it.
I'm willing (and quite enjoy) giving blow jobs ALL the time.
And he always says no.
Always.
It's like he hates any sexual contact.
Yet he masturbates all the time.
And usually keeps it a secret from me.
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.
He claims he's just never in the mood.
But it really kills my self-esteem.
And i've tried EVERYTHING.
I just wish he'd come home from class one day and jump me.
Slam me up against the wall and kiss me with passion.
But it will never happen.
He never initiates anything.
Please.
Help.
Me.
:(
My boyfriend and I are sexually active.
Sort of.
In the beginning of the relationship, he was down for sex pretty frequently.
Didn't bother me. For a woman, I have a very high sex drive.
But as the relationship moved on, he wanted less and less.
Which, I didn't mind, but it's down to a null now.
I'm lucky if I get..erm.. lucky, once a month.
He usually makes excuses, but lately it's just "i don't want to".
What guy, would rarely want to have sex?
The weird thing is,
is that I make him hard all the time.
most of the time without even trying.
But he never wants it.
I'm willing (and quite enjoy) giving blow jobs ALL the time.
And he always says no.
Always.
It's like he hates any sexual contact.
Yet he masturbates all the time.
And usually keeps it a secret from me.
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.
He claims he's just never in the mood.
But it really kills my self-esteem.
And i've tried EVERYTHING.
I just wish he'd come home from class one day and jump me.
Slam me up against the wall and kiss me with passion.
But it will never happen.
He never initiates anything.
Please.
Help.
Me.
:(
But I'm completely faithful.
I wasn't looking for a good time.
I just want to fix whatevers going on between me and him.
:/
Are there other problems going on in the relationship? Many times bedroom problems stem from other problems going on in the relationship.
Sit down with him outside of the bedroom and talk to him, ask him what's going on, ask him why he doesn't want sex, ask him if he sees any problems in the relationship that you might not see or think is a problem and ask him if he still wants to be in this relationship. You might also want to talk to him about getting couples counseling if you both want the relationship to work out and the two of you can't find a solution on your own.
When all is said and done, you've talked about, both of you tried working on the relationship, got couples counseling if necessary and nothing gets better, you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship and sex life you want to stay in.
You ain't going to like this, but he wants sex, he just doesn't want it WITH YOU. He's already moved on, in his heart. I suggest you do the same.