Maybe she has a hard time dealing with her relationship issues and just needs her brother to talk to.

that was such a nice thought beaker1018, but it honestly runs a lot more deeper than that. It truely is like she is fulfilled with two men

Cant get it from her husband, so she transfers to my partner

I think im sounding like a jealous bitch really, and im not !!! at all

i had a takf with her about relatiohsips, and my advise was, if its fixable work on it, if its broken walk away.

She only want to stay for the fact of the big house, and the husband breadwinner, he is the money proivider the security. Thats all, she doesnt love him , or feels passion anymore

This runs really really deep , so i throw the question out to you all, with out a real background

Some ppl are very family oriented , while some are not..... You stated his sister was in a bad marriage , so maybe he is trying to reach out to her for that fact. i know if my own sister were to need me I would drop everything to help her out. Maybe you could set and talk with her yourself, not so much as to tell her you dont like it but maybe if her marriage is so bad you could get her to open up and maybe see that she needs to get out and do something abou it. As for you and your man not being HUSBAND AND WIFE , maybe she is more proan to take him away from you due to that fact..... Good lick doll.....

I think you've mentioned your partner's sister before; from the way you described the situation it sounded as if she's quite competitive/hostile towards you, almost as if she resents his relationship with you (or did I get the wrong end of the stick?)

I can totally understand her wanting the extra support if her own marriage is going badly, but really if she wants that then she should also be prepared to make the effort and get along with you.

I'm sure it's difficult for your partner being stuck in the middle like this, but I hope you can get him to see it that way as well.

Forgot to add, I've been in the situation myself where my marriage was in deep sh** but it took me a while to get out. I'll admit I was leaning on a couple of my male friends for support (as well as the females).
But the important thing is, I would never have dreamed of trying to 'exclude' their girlfriends or being disrespectful to them; and it wouldn't have been fair of me to try and encroach on all of their free time together. I also wouldn't have expected my friends to keep any secrets from their SO, that's just not playing fair.

Just thought I'd share my perspective on it, maybe it'll help if you want to talk it over with your partner.

Close families are difficult to deal with, I know from my own experience. If they were extremely close as children they could push on a wife in time, let alon a lover. She may be concern that he is not married or she is does not like you and is plain evil.

My brother and I are not close. We have scattered from our nest and that is the way it should be, I think. In my case I had to fight to hold my place against a son who did not want his mother to marry again. And a daughter who was BP, anxious and consume almost ever free minute she had available. Now, she live with her mother and I am alone.

My late Husband's Mother was kinda like this. My Husband lived at home a lot longer than most men do to help her out finacially. He paid rent to live there. He helped around the house. He would take her places etc. Unfortunately she was very jealous of me. She would make mean comments when ever she could. I guess she figured I was taking away her baby and financial support system. I tried everything to help her out. I cooked, cleaned, took her to the doctors, to the store, to get her hair done etc. Then she got Althemiers sp? so we moved out of our house and into hers inorder to take care of her... so she didn't have to go into a nursing home. She would lie about me to other family members. She would tell them I never cooked and I only ordered pizza out; when I cooked just about every night. She would have temper tantrums and throw food. She got in the car and drove the car through the side of the house. She told the doctor that I hid her medicine. She was looking through our Wedding Album and said, "You two look nice for big fat people." She weighed 90# and anyone over that was fat.

It sounds to me like there is some jealousy there and she feels threatened by you for some reason. Maybe she just doesn't care for you and wants to break you two up. I would have thought the same thing as Broke but I read the post about her wanting your brother to be around naked women or something like that and to me that is not normal.
I would suggest talking to a Counselor and see what they think. Good luck to you.

Sounds to me that she needs to have a bit more resprect toward your relationship. And she also needs to find a girlie friend to hang out with NOW.

I am very close to my brother..very close. We only live minutes apart. And there have been times when I have called him up and said..let's go out..and we did. BUT. I also understand his wife's perspective in that, he has a family, he has responsibilities.

Sounds to me that your SO could also say 'NO'. when asked to do things with her. he needs to show her that you are a priority in his life.

Like lisa, I experienced this with my x m-i-l. she was very jealous of my husband's time. She would make plans for him and then inform him of what he was doing and he would do it!! OMG..felt like I was going insane! he worked from 6am-7pm, 6 days a week. We had children and a home..she did what she could to take him away from our family time.

Ultimately, I guess I said all that to say...while I do think you have a right to be a bit angry with his sister..your SO is ultimately the one responsible for where he spends his time. He needs to say NO.

I agree with KIT... it is your BF's responsibility to say no to her sometimes and consider your feelings. If he doesn't... I think there will always be strong resentments.

A bit more clarification, when l said bad marriage maybe l should have said boring marriage, 29 years married, and they do nothing together. she prefers to have fun times with my partner, her brother.

Her husband is never asked along, except for occassions i ask him, and them he comes.

Her husband is rarely included in coveresations also. l make a big effort to include him

This l found weire. We meaning Myself my partner, his sister, and her daughter (not husband) because she did not want him to come along are all going overseas for a holiday, in April

She asked if we could all share a room together, Whats that about, doesnt she think my partner and l have sex???

She is really pissing me off!

Example, i found out this morning that our next weekend is supposed to be all together again. My partner, his sister and me.

And l wasnt even asked, just told.

Well not happening, im not doing it.

I want one on one time with him, as l have said before, we both have very demanding jobs, so time together is never enough, and is precious

We have a great relationship, 10 years together and madly in love, its just now his sister seems to be trying to get well

What we have

I see your frustration with your partner's sister but don't hear anything about a discussion with him. He is allowing her to insert herself into your personal time. Call him on it and set up some boundries/ground rules.

It doesn't seem very healthy that she's relying exclusively on her brother for support/socialising - doesn't she have any other friends?

I think it is up to your partner to set some kind of boundaries, clearly she needs to get her own life.
You need to discuss it with your partner, try to do it without making him feel stuck in the middle but make it clear that it is up to him to set the limits.

Perhaps you could both encourage her to find some other interests in life, and maybe make some other friends? It's not healthy for anyone if she's relying so much on your partner for company.

you can explain and re-explain and expand on any info..but the bottom line here is that HE (your SO) is not putting his foot down with her.

It won't stop until he stops it.

No dont get this wrong, my darling partner does actually think about it, and l dont have to say much to him.

eg..the other night when she invited him over (not me) to watch stippers etc (a male sons friend in her home) he made the desision to not go, l didnt have to say a thing.

It is just she keeps trying, all sorts of different methods to get herself included in our personal time.

Yes l will discuss this on the weekend with him, and nicely ask him, why does he think she keeps wanting to spend more time with us.

He knows that our time is precious, so he often rejects her.

She just keeps trying and trying

Im not sure if she has friends, she tells me her best friend is her daughter, and they hang out a lot