The lbs are just the result of the bigger picture. IMHO. When I’m exercising and eating well I feel good about myself. Drive goes up. I think it’s more about creating energy for ourselves than maintaining the ‘perfect’ body. Walking in a great way to get going. Good for the mind too. Oh, lose the tv. Instantly creates more time together for that healthy living. Best thing we ever did for our relationship. Talk with him about how you two want to live. Maybe he feels stuck and just talking could wake him up

That's a really good idea. I often feel like I can't talk to him in the evenings because he wants to just lay around and watch TV or football on his phone. I like when we drive because we can talk.

Yes--my body image does affect my sex drive! I'm quite vain--I don't feel sexy at all when I'm fat. Plus, yes, being fat makes me tired, with nowhere near the energy required to even get a boner, much less keep it up and have sex. So I ride my bike and work out, as much as time in between sedentary work allows, so I can thwart those negative feelings, instead like what I see in the mirror, feel vigorous and horny! I get depressed when my sedentary job is taking all my time and I'm getting fat!

Thank you! That makes so much sense. I need to get him iij n the gym some how. If he quit drinking beer would help too.

Beer'll make a man fat and lethargic quicker than anything. He has to WANT to change--otherwise, he won't change.

Do YOU work out in the gym? If so, great! If not, do it, for YOURSELF. If fiance wants to tag along, great. If he sees other guys who are way fitter, more happenin', more motivated than him, and if he sees you getting slimmer, more cheerful, more energetic, MAYBE it'll motivate him to get off his ass and get his ass in gear.

At the very least, you and lazy, boring fiance are not married yet, so going to the gym will give you some new eye candy to look at and the oppprtunity to meet and talk with OTHER guys who are NOT lazy, who are in the gym pushing weight hard because they're motivated and have a vested interest in looking and feeling good, maintaining their health, as well as helping to motivate you to maintain yours. Who knows, you might just meet a new, exciting guy in the gym who really floats your boat in every way, and then you can kick lazy, boring fiance to the curb, which if I were you I'd consider doing anyway--he sounds like a lazy, boring slughead who just takes up space.

I did go to the gym 3 days a week but after I had Lasik surgery and some other emergencies, I've only gone a couple times in the last month. I go because it helps various health issues I have. I love lifting weights and listening to music while on the stepper.
I've never seen anyone hot at my gym lol. Mostly fat women or old dudes. I honestly don't think I've ever met anyone around here that cares about health or appearance, especially men. And I never talk to anyone but the owner and personal trainers.
Id like to go workout tonight but I don't feel like fighting and arguing with my mom about it.
One thing I hate about living in the sticks is even a simple outing is a huge time consuming chore. I often don't go out because I guilt trip myself about wasting so much gas.

Ah--sorry to hear that. You oughtta see some of the dudes down here in South Florida where I work out--Incredible Hulks! At age 54, I'm one of the "older dudes" you describe, although I've been told I only look early 40s. I care about my health and I LIKE to exercise. I don't push massive amounts of weight for bulk like some of the other guys--I go for lower weight and high reps to get CUT, have LEAN muscle definition, and I do. I also do a lot of cardio, cycling and arc training in the gym--it makes me feel great! I'll occasionally have a beer. I can get away with drinking 2 beers a day twice a week and not get fat. I've been a good boy last 2 weeks--haven't drank any alcohol at all--it just gets in the way of my speed on the bike.

Do you and fiance live with your mom? Are you employed? Short bicycle rides on a $50 Schwinn from Wal-Mart?

Fuck bikes they hurt my lady parts lol. I never learned how to ride one very well.
Of course I work, I'm not a drugee.

Don't worry I made it a priority to go to the gym today. I feel better.

Bikes hurt my fella parts too but the advantages far outweigh the discomfort lol. A larger bike seat helps. Never said you were a druggie--I was just curious why your mom has such a hold over you.

Because she is old and lives with me

I'm almost 58 and try to take care of my self but I don't think much about the body image. I just keep exercising by doing stairs every day, lifting weights plus 60 pushups and 60 situps.

I don’t think that body weight affects your sexuality. At least from personal experiences I can tell that mine is still 100%and maybe even more than before. But ok depends and how much weight guys cause is different 200 lbs and 250 or 300lbs . As for the low libido there might be 100 problems and not only one also might be not at all cheating or other woman. Anyway wish you the best beauty.