I don’t know what will help but I just wanted you to know that I’m in a pretty similar situation. Mommy mode has me exhausted and desperate for “me time” after they are finally all asleep. I know my husband gives me massages to kind of relax me and sometimes it can help get me in the mood.

Yes mommy mode 24/7and when I have a chance to take a break I don't lol. Thank you I could ask for more massages lol they always lead to other things you're right

Are you able to get a night alone every now and then? I know right now it’s not easy, but in the future. My husband and I had date night once a week when the kids were younger and occasionally my parents would take the kids for the night. This gave us time as a couple without the kids interrupting. My marriage was and is far from perfect but at that time it helped.

We do have date nights but my hubby stated hed like more so we're trying to implement that especially after this corona! I think once a week is great! Granted our kids are 9 and 11 but they're at the age of knocking on the door asking what were doing and my son is a cock blocker lol its tough sometimes

My husband was more nervous about getting caught than I was, I was willing to take the chance lol
Can you have sex early in the morning? My kids were sleepers so that was an option for us.
Working on getting that time alone will help.

Yeh id have to set an alarm hahahah! I like mid day but again we could maybe bribe the kids more the stay downstairs lol

Oh the nooner was my favourite lol
Not so easy when everyone is home. Is there a movie that they are riveted to? Put that on, get on a robe and flash your husband and tell him it’s all his and to meet you in the bedroom.

Oooo nice! Like that idea lol thank you

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you

This scares the hell out of me. But I’m saying that with love. I hear kids are exhausting, so I can’t empathize. I’m already getting no action without kids. Sounds like a red flag!

Maybe just sharing or finding a new hobby will bring you together and intimate. Cooking class? Group exercise? A nice nature walk where you hold hands. Sorry I’m a romantic.

I can relate! When I’m not in mommy mode, I’m in self-improvement mode. I had my daughter at 24, and hadn’t really had the time to “find myself” before 90% of my time became dedicated to my daughter (and my doggo, who needs daily physical therapy) when I’m not momming, I feel like I need to be doing something else constructive, then I exhaust myself (more mentally than anything) and all I want to do is relax without feeling obligated to do anything for anyone. And since my partner and I have had less sex than ever, it’s very frustrating for him. But now, all of sudden that just makes sex feel like another obligation, which is a MAJOR turn off!!!

So all of sudden. Sex became a problem. Problems are stressful and stress kills libido.

My fix so far?? There are many!! (And I’m still finding more)

Sexy back rubs is my personal favorite! My partners got some pretty fucking magical hands.

I also actively change my mind set. Instead of seeing it as something else I have to do, I remind myself how much it actually benefits me.

Or I just do it even though I don’t want to, and usually once I become engaged, I actually DO want to.

Buy or do something to make yourself feel sexy!

And assure your partner it’s not him and let him know you hear him and also want more sex. Just communicate whatever needs to be communicated and hopefully you guys can give the conversation a rest, while being aware that you’re actively working towards improvement.

In my personal experience, the more my partner brought it up and the more we discussed it as a problem, the more it felt like a problem. And problems are NOT fun or sexy.

Omg kmao! We are so similar it felt like something else i had to do. Feels good knowing I'm not alone. Thank you

Just wanted to thank you ladies for sharing so much insight. I value that you’re not just bitching about it, but you find solutions. It’s nice to see you try. I wonder in my situation what’s going on. But I’ll find the answer.

The kids need to become more independent and self-sufficient, especially the "cock blocker" son pounding on your bedroom door asking what Mommy and Daddy are doing. You have to enforce this, tell the kids Mommy and Daddy need some alone time. Can the kids, siblings, entertain each other?

Same had happened to me about 7 years ago. My husband was so unhappy that we were going to seperate amigably. I didn't really care because I just had zero sex drive. Once I realized that we would have to talk to the kids about it as well that I had a pretty good husband who never cheated, gambled, cooked for me, etc. I decided to take action and get my libido up. I first bought some sexy lingerie and lotions. I also read erotica and watched some porn to help me with my sexy. Then I decided to tell him I wasn't going to lose him over sex. I realized I would eventually want to have sex again anyway and so would he. I minus well make the effort with my husband. I wasn't always in the mood but I made it work. I am happy I did so because my hubby is a great guy.