It's only written in the minds of people who hold double standards, it's ok for the man, it's not ok for the woman.

My thoughts on it are, if a guy is not going to want to continue dating because I shook the sheets on a first date which is doing the same thing HE's doing, then don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I do not tolerate double standards and if a guy thought differently of me for doing the same thing he's doing, then I wouldn't give him a second date. A guy who holds that double standard isn't a guy I would want to continue dating and certainly wouldn't want a serious relationship with.

I was with stbxh for 30+ years and we had sex right away. I've been with my partner over 5 years now and we shook the sheets the first time we met in-person.

A tough one since everyone is different and have different ideas during dating on when to have sex.

I had sex with my wife on the second date. The reason I did because I knew she's the one that I will spend the rest of my life with, and that was over 25 years ago.

It takes two to tango, so I don't understand why a person would hold that against you. Many people do things in the heat of the moment that they regret later, but that is their problem, I guess.

I don't put out on a first date.

But then again, it has been pointed out to me that what I consider a "date" is somewhat more flexible than what others do.

Better said that I have to know a woman for a while before I'm willing to sleep with them.

But I'm not going to judge a woman either way. Well, not true. If she indicated that she wanted to, then stopped, saying, "not on the first date" I would be weary of her motives.

Why Dave? She might think to herself, "you know, he's special and I don't want this to be simply a wham-bam session. I want to know him for more than just sex. So I'll wait and develop a little something first before hopping in the sack."

Just spinning it in a positive light.

no... I'm talking about the classic bait and switch, which is a very bad omen of things to come.

We all know the type. They make you believe it is going to happen, then just STOP.

which is fine, in it's own way. No one is obligated to do anything. But experience tells me that women that do this (and men, likely, but I have no experience with this) are going to use sex to control things in any relationship that later develops.

There is a bid difference between a woman that gets caught up in things, then comes to her senses, and a woman that leads you on for affect.

I'm talking about the latter.

Sadly, now I have to wonder about those women I went on dates with... and what they must think of me. Did they think I was prude? Did they think I was leading them on? Was I a tease to them? Oh... now I'm worried.

If I go on a date with someone and we have a very hot make-out session, touching and squeezing, etc......But I don't have sex with him. Does that make me a manipulator?
That's not a rhetorical question. I really want to know.

I love a good make-out session. (almost better than sex and especially with some guys I've been with)
I kiss for kissing's sake and touch for pleasure of touching.
Does it always have to lead to sex?
I'm not going to have sex with every guy I kiss.
I guess I'm a prude.

no, it doesn't have to end in sex. It is about the intent behind it.

And I suppose it is really open to interpretation... if you are a tease, then so am I!

A make out session on a first date...is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking more along the lines of clothes off and similar things were a reasonable person would believe that sex is going to happen... then it doesn't.

I don't get the impression that you are prude Bedhog.