Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Jennheimrich 10/29/2008

Ok, in advance... I have TRIED talking to him, I have TRIED talking to him... it isnt working.. Today.. this happened. *cries*

Welltoday is the day I broke Ty's heart.

We waited 3 weeks in between having sex. Because I had had my fix for a week, then we went out of town to visit family for a week, and then we got home.. Still sexless.

Last night I get my chance to have him dominate me.. play with me, please me. We get into bed.. and he bores me so bad, I fake it for him in the rare times I made noise.

So today he comes home from work. I dont feel like talking much...

I go into my room and sit on the bed, he follows me in

He goes to sit next to me

me- I wouldnt sit there unless you want a wet ass

him- oh! Was that us?

me- no /laugh no

him- Thats from you?

me- Yes I had some fun today, me and my little buddy

him- oh, so last night wasnt good for you

me- I took care of it today

him- so do you want a round 2?

me- for what?

him- so I can redeem myself

me- oh. No, Im good for now

him- Oh, ok then.

me- Im hungry

*walks off*

Maybe there's an easier way to tell your man he doesnt sexually satisfy you, but if there is a way, I don't know it. So Im feeling great, from the orgasms I gave myself, but bad.. because now Im thinking how he must feel... What should I do?

deleted_user 10/29/2008

You are right! Ouch! You should have been a little easier w/ his feelings hon. Now, I understand that he is not pleasing you sexually, BUT... this is something you need to speak openly w/ him about. You love him right? You don't want to hurt him right? Just sit down w/ him and discuss things that you can do together to make your sexual experience better for the both of you. Maybe you can take a sexual training class together for fun. Maybe rent a porn and discuss what they are doing that you might enjoy. Most of all, just be nice and work on it together. We ALL have moments like that, trust me. Good luck!

Jennheimrich 10/29/2008

Ive tried it hon... I even tried showing him...

deleted_user 10/29/2008

totally agree. just sit down and talk to him.. i understand why you acted like that because your frustrated..

hang in there hun

deleted_user 10/29/2008

WOW THAT WAS HORRIBLY HARSH I FELT BAD FOR HIM JUST FROM READING THAT...THAT WAS VERY WRONG TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE CRAP AND IM SURE U DID...HE MIGHT NOT HAVE SHOWN IT BC MEN USUALLY HAVE A THICH SKIN OR HOLD THINGS IN MORE. ALOT OF WOMEN GO THROUGH THIS WITH THEIR SPOUSE I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS...U HAVE TO TALK TO HIM NOT BE RUDE AND UGLY AND HURTFUL BUT SIT DOWN AND BE OPEN AND HONEST...ULL CATCH MORE FLIES WTH HONEY!

I WOULD APOLOGIZE AND SIT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT...ROUGH PATCHES HAPPEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AND U CAN BE NICE AND TALK IT OVER OR U CAN BE MEAN TO HIM AND PERHAPS CAUSE HIM NOT TO WANT U SEXUALLY, STRAY, OR EVEN LEAVE U...SOME MEN WONT PUT UP WITH THAT BEHAVIOR

deleted_user 10/29/2008

Maybe he is nervous. Maybe he is unsure how to please you. If you are not getting any where by talking to him, then masturbate in private and don't rub it in his face. I think in time, he will become a better lover.

Jennheimrich 10/29/2008

Its been 3 years, how much longer do I have to wait for him to come around to being a good lover?

LisaACOA 10/29/2008

Sweetie, I am not sure what to tell you. You really have to be careful with their egos. You have to apologize to him. Since you have already said this I think the only thing you can do is tell him that you love him and that you really want to work on improving your sex lives by trying different things, opening up with one another, sharing likes and dislikes, talking dirty, fantasies, role-play etc. Maybe have him use your toy on you at the same time you are sucking on him. Let him see how turned on you can get from that. Then he will have a better idea how to please you. Don't put him down... just show him what you like. They aren't mind readers.
I hope things work out for the both of you.

deleted_user 10/29/2008

I'm likely to be slammed for being nasty, but it's not the first time.

What you told him loosely translated: "Last night was shit, and I can't be bothered trying to repeat it".

So it's been three years of your faking it, and NOW it's his fault he's a bad lover? Honey, you have been training him to behave this way, he thinks its okay.

You need to relearn what you like together, making sure to involve HIM. He's not psychic you know. If you pretend to like it, he's going to think you DO.

What I'm saying: This is your own fault. Accept it, be the adult, apologize. Work on it together, or walk out.

deleted_user 10/29/2008

Talk about crushing a man to pieces. That was just cold. You need some help with communicating. Personally I think he could do better.

deleted_user 10/29/2008

Lisa is right .. I hear ur frustration and ur anger ..

I'm sure he does too .. try tenderness and love .. there is never a time to not be gentle and kind ..

Try getting some erotica .. put paper clips on what u like .. give him the book .. and have him do the same .. start with all the pages with 2 paper clips ..

Good luck .. I hope this helps u ..

flutterbyfly 10/29/2008

Sorry, I don't want to sound harsh. But I agree with alittleconfused.

Maybe some counseling for you two? Dunno. But you've been acting like you like it. You've set yourself up for alot of it. You're still around after 3 yrs?????? Wow.

deleted_user 11/05/2008

This guy isn't intersting because you walk all over him and he lets you. At this stage of his maturity he needs positive reinforcement, if you can't wait any longer for him, then leave, you will do both of you a favor. Otherwise you have to learn how to give him positive praise, and stop faking it, otherwise he will never get it.

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