Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
When I met my current boyfriend he told me he was trying to quit porn.He confided in me and told me that, I didn't ask him too but he did, at the time I dint think nothing of it since it was the beginning of our relationship. I know he was open with me, and I should feel grateful that the confided in me, but instead my stupid jealousy just distorted everything, Since he told me that he was trying to quit porn I assumed he wouldn't never watch porn anymore, which is kind of unreasonable of me to think since I have watched a lot of porn and know how addicting it can be. Some months into the relationship I started being very clingy, insecure and jealous about stuff that didn't even made sense and he start using porn again (only occasionally 1 or two times a week) and this has made me very insecure and anxious. Currently he completely gave up his porn usage in order for me to feel better and start fixing our relationship, I feel like I'm such a hypocrite because I am bisexual and I like porn a lot, I even watch it occasionally to satisfy that lesbian part of me but feel insecure if he watches his porn, wtf is wrong with me?. I dont want him to completely gave up his porn usage, I just don't want to be bothered or jealous by it. Since I am bisexual sometimes we have watching porn together and it has been very sexy beacuse we usually fantasize about 3somes or me being a lesbian and him watching. On these ocasions I have gotten very turned on but not always because sometimes my jealousy gets in the way. In addition I'm very self conscious about my physique even though I look very young, have long blonde hair, I am skinny, had a breast augmentation 5 years ago and people (men and woman) are always complementing me, no matter how good I think I look I am constantly disatisfied and trying to be perfect which is very tiring, I feel like I could get more plastic surgery and still not be happy with my looks, because I am always comparing myself to hollywood actrees and super hot porn stars. I feel like this jealousy is more about myself than the actions of my boyfriend. When I feel very confident about myself (which is rarely) my jealousy levels diminish significantly, any advice, I want to embrace my owm sexyness and not feel threatened of something that my boyfriend does and I do to, I want to stop being unreasonable!
You mentioned that you have insecurities about your body, but to be honest, you are watching porn with porn star perfect bodies involved and you are getting off on it. Watching people have sex is hot. It's the same for your bf, unless he is pressuring you to change something about your body, I don't see what is wrong with this situation.
I encourage you to continue watching it with him, if it makes you feel better.
You speak at length about your attractive looks. Take a moment to consider that loving relationships involve a helluva lot more than physical appearance. Otherwise, we wouldn't have these wrinkly old couples sticking it out Year after year ;)
Your man loves you for so much more than your pretty blonde hair and augmented boobies, though I'm sure he DOES appreciate them. The porn he watches gets him off, sure, but is he making future plans with the porn? Having long phone calls with the porn? No. Learning the porn's favorite food? Taking the porn on dates? No, no, no. As a porm watcher yourself, you know it's all just for fun. He gets off, then falls alseep and forgets all about it 5 minutes later. When it comes to you, on the otherhand, he has a (presumably) deep bond.
Now, the really important work is for you to learn how to love you from a similarly deep place. Security comes from within.
Good luck :)