Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
They always say you want what you can't have. For me, it has been so very long.....I am married for 15 years (but for more than the last 10, hubby will no longer touch me....except for an occasionalpeck here or there) In our "marriage" there is a definite lack of alot of things...top three.....communication,affection, physical touch.
Because of this, I have had many times where I had sex on the brain. It has gotten that it is not so bad, but recently, as I hear all the happy, romantic stories others share, it reminds me I am so desperately alone. I crave having someone who can make me smile just by entering the room....whose touch can send goosebumps through me....anticipating what is to come.....to feel his lips, hands all over me ...and mine on him. I can only imagine all the things we can do together til our hot sweaty bodies do lie next to each other...trying to recover and catch our breath.
I can only imagine this because I never really was lucky enough to find it. Before our current situation,things were ok,but nothing exciting (to be fair, back then I did also have alot of guilt,shame and hang ups. That didn't help) And before hubby, I did only have 2 other "relationships"..both were fwb. I never really had the romance or passion....or love.
As much as i want it, I came dangerously close to giving in to a simple booty call. I realize now that I am tired of being used. I also don'twant to cheat on hubby (but I do plan on being free again to at least look for a happy ending. .....the other long lasting kind)
Kind regards
Sushil
I could have just hooked up with any unattached guy. I knew several and a couple had been pretty persistently asking me out for a while. They were just regular guys, nice, reasonably good looking and there was not a thing in the world wrong with them, except I wasn't particularly attracted to them.
I decided if I was doing this, I had to either be all in or all out. I wanted a fairytale happily ever after, not to settle for the first nice guy who came along. I knew that I'd probably have to kiss quite a few frogs to get my prince, so I began brainstorming ways to meet and assess potential husbands as quickly and efficiently as possible. Gentle reminder: This was before speed dating was invented.
I made a list of what I wanted in a man. My wish list looked something like:
Sense of Humor: Most Important
Intelligence: Very Important
Conversationalist: High Ranking Priority
Attractiveness TO ME: High Priority
I tend to be attracted to larger men who others see a quirky or nerdy. They're kind of my thing.
Athletic: Unimportant
Macho: Unimportant
Leaves The Toilet Seat Up: Unimportant
I can browbeat that behavior into him later, right?
Must Have Immaculate Personal Hygiene
Explanation Unnecessary.
He Must Like: Sci-Fi, Walks In The Park, Motorcycling, Shopping, And Strong Willed Women.
Solicited Information From Daughter
She rolled her eyes, tossed me a slice of pizza, and sucked down enough of her big gulp to suffer brain freeze. Just when I though she was down for the count, she spoke. "Since this whole conversation isn't real anyways, I want a step dad who likes cotton candy, poops pink marshmallows and will let me have a clowder of kittens." I promptly marked her off my list of people to consult, got on line, and headed straight for an AOL transatlantic chat room where I proceeded to read about a thousand profiles.
I bumped into one interesting profile from a British gentleman, who said he didn't need six-pack abs, because he had a barrel and mentioned something about his favorite sport being belly boxing. That got him a jingle from me.
I proceeded to check off most of my list and we met up a few months later. The moment I saw that he'd neatly combed his wild hair with the thought of impressing me, and how socially awkward he was meeting his online American girlfriend, I just knew. We just stood there looking at each other for a minute too long. Don't know what he was thinking, but the thought crossed my mind that if I pulled off all his clothing and messed his hair up a bit, he just might pass for a troll doll in the right lighting. He was absolutely adorable. After that, it was on.
I guess I'm saying prince charming isn't going to find you. You need to shake off the relationship that isn't working, figure out exactly what you want in a man, and hunt your new man like a bad ass big game hunter! Once you find him, that inner voice that's always so discontent will be screaming so loud that you won't mistake it for anything else but true love.