I read two things in your post that are very disturbing.

The first is your giving up on sex and this is the minor one of the two. I feel you have never had your needs, wants, desires ever met and especially from this selfish bastard you are with. Sex (or as i call it making love) is very important in a relationship and is one of the key building blocks that holds it together. With that said it should never be one sided and should always be something that both people use to spend intamte time together to build there relationship.

The other issue is that you have a man that dos NOT have the capability to see a woman as a equal. He is abusive by nature and inconciderate of your needs. I would suggest that you seriously think about moving on with your life if you are that unhappy and realize you will be nothing more then a slave to him for the rest of it. He has it easy and you are allowing him to be lazy and comfortable in his situation. If you feed an abuser they will never change. Most times they wont anyway, but to keep giving into them makes it worse.

I had a friend that was a stay at home dad for awhile until there kids were old enough to take care of themselves. He did all the cooking , cleaning , and raising of the children. He has since gone back to work full time since they are old enough to be home alone now, but he didnt take his wife for granted .

Hugs and best of luck!

I am sorry for the exhaustion, pain and heartbreak you are going through..
Do you feel you would be better off without him?
Can you manage the house, children, sitters without him?

If yes then send is sorry ass to the curb. If not, set ground rules. also seek professional help for yourself and for both of you. If he isn't open to any of that, then I think you really have to do some serious soul searching.

Can't he at least get an evening job?

You're just with the wrong guy. Kick that lemon to the curb and find yourself a real man. Sue the lemon for child support so he has to get off his ass and earn a buck. Raise that kid to not be spoiled and lazy like his or her daddy.

Unfortunately Koolman, the horrible court system will not enforce him to work. They will look at their financial statements and see she is the bread winner and that will be the end of it.. Granted, she can monitor what he does until the children are 18 and keep taking him to court to try to get money from him, but if he ends up living off someone else or works under the table, she is screwed and all she will be able to get is state aid (health ins, food assistance) providing she makes below a certain income..

Do you hear the bitterness in me about the court system....

He sounds alot like my ex. I use to work 2 jobs, come home with an aching back and she had to have a one hour long massage because she was tired taking care of the dog all day.

I had sex about once every 3 months if I was lucky. It didn't matter that I worked hard and had muscle spasms in my back. It didn't matter that I got 3 hours of sleep every night.

So to make a long story longer, she was contacted by her teenage boyfriend, and there started a short whirlwind romance that ended with her kicking him out. She has asked me to take her back and I reluctantly did (I can't help it, I am too nice of a guy) but I will never remarry her. I won't even be intimate with her anymore.

Since she started seeing this guy, she has had about a half dozed UTI's so I am scared to death I might catch something, I don't want! In the whole 24 years we were married, she never had one UTI! I would rather jerk off to porn or cyber with someone....alot safer that way!

~~~Peace~~~

why cant a nice person ever end up with a nice person. there always seems to be one asshole in the relationship. he asks everynight but he doesnt get every night im not a machine i have a one year old that doesnt go to bed till after 12 and after that im tired. last night the baby went down around 8 i knew he would be up later and my oldest was still up but i decided to give him some since its been like a week. well after about a half hour of givin him head and still no get up i got mad so then he got mad and said he was done with me and he could pay a whore to pleasure him better than i was doing!!!!! fckn asshole

Oh, wow, yeah, you guys either need a major overhaul or you need to be done with him. I understand that would be very hard with 2 kids and another on the way, but it CAN be done. I left my abusive H 2 years ago, with a 2 year-old and 7 year-old, and I have no family living near me. And the women on the Physical and Emotional Abuse forum helped me tremendously, so you might want to check out that group, too. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

I'm with Viv, weigh it all out and the then seek help. If it turns out that there is nothing left worth saving, than at least you tried.

I have been there.They treat you like your shit and then expect sex.I said no and then he cheated.Isn't that awesome?

You should not have to put up with that! Any man that talks to you in that way is a POS in my opinion. Get help (counseling for both of you) or get out. It will not get better. I really wish you the best and hope things get better for you
((((HUGS))))

Nothing wrong with him being a stay at home Dad, but he obviously does realize it is not sitting around watching Oprah all day, or Dr. Oz, or Ellen. It is a JOB. He should be expected to take care of the house, actually have dinner ready when you get home from work etc. That is BS. WHat does he think real stay at home mother,s and house wives do all day, and why the house is clean, and dinner is on the table. Seriously what is wrong with this guy. You are definitely enabling him. When you come home, yes than you both share, just as if the woman was home.

Sex is a two person thing. It s not just about hi getting pleasure. Both are responsible for fulfilling the other's needs, and if he is religious, tell him it states this in the bible that the MAN is responsible for fulfilling his wives needs! What a jack off!

I am seriously considering opening a business to possibly take care of abusive people like your " husband. " Nothing major mind you just a little court appointed time with me for a week or three in the Florida swamps fending for ourselves and learning some "lessons" on how to respect other people.
Now that my rant is over please realize that for intensive purposes he sees nothing wrong with what he does or does not do. He sounds more like a spoiled child than a real man. Please listen to what the others have said about seeking help and reevaluating your situation. You deserve respect and to be cherished and loved as a partner not some piece of sex meat. He needs some serious re-educating. If this "man" were my son I would be ashamed of the poor job I had done in parenting him. And if he was just being a true asshole. I would take him out in the woods and readjust his attitude towards you with a little old school Southern educating. You do not deserve what you are getting. Make his behavior as public as is possible if he is not a sociopath he might have to take a long hard look at himself. Otherwise get rid of him and seek your own happiness.

Sorry about the court system, Viv. Well, if she dumps him, sounds like she'll be no worse off than she is right now, except she won't have his piece of meat for sex, and she won't have a babysitter for their kids (!).

Or she will, but the court may make her pay him to do it and call it spousal support.

And receiving government aid? Her income would have to be pitifully low.

I like Awesome's advice. seek support to cope with your current circumstances.
Michelle, prayers for you.

He actually told you that he could pay a whore to do it better? Wow...I am so sorry. Have you two considered seeing a counselor? It's obvious his head is up in the clouds and you are at your end.