Relaxation techniques, meditation, don't be in a rush, slow things down, get in touch with that deep, dark animal within.

This may be a dumb question, but do you masturbate? Obviously you don't have to tell me, but if you don't, you should try it! Most women have to learn to pleas themselves before a partner can.

If you DO masturbate and still can't cum, then my best advice is simply to relax. Don't focus on having an orgasm. Focus on feeling good. Do enough stuff that feels good in the right order and BAM! You will climax. Barring that, you might even consider a sex therapist. Good luck :)

I do understand how you feel. I also have never been able to either. I have come (no pun intended lol) a long way...... (overcome some hang-ups) , recently changed meds and try like hell . I do come very close.....but can't quite make it either.

I think it could be because having an orgasm is not zooming from point A to point B.

Sex begins inside your head and is bolstered by the connection you have with your partner. I have noticed times when I couldn't seem to get there. My husband and I are very in tune. He usually eases back, does more kissing my neck and whispers such sexy filthy stuff in my ear that it pushes right through whatever issue I'm having. In other words, he pulls me right back into the moment with him. Sometimes he reminds me of that time we....., or he talks about new sexual fantasy he's never mentioned, or he talks about something kinky we both like. Once my head gets in the game, I'm suddenly there. There has been a time or two when light spanking or getting tied up did the trick. Again it was more getting in my head than anything.

Then again, it could be relaxation, needing more foreplay, or maybe occasionally our stars are just not in proper alignment for having an orgasm. What do I know?

Thank you all for responding. I found useful information with you all. So I'll respond accordingly.
*Koolman-Yes I agree. I have been trying to relax, take my time & have began to communicate with my partner, but I think he's beginning to feel inadequate. So I will keep working & stop lying about having orgasms.

*mangymoosemaine-I do masturbate, but I only do that when I can't take the pressure any longer & need to release. I try not to rely on that. If so I would be releasing daily. I just can't get there with my partner. I have to learn to relax & concentrate on feeling good & not having an orgasm. This is easier said than done. I'm so frustrated & jealous of how easy it is for men.

*Gutted-everything you said is exactly dead on. I have to learn to relax, get inside my own head & try to just live in the moment & feel. My partner is so understanding, open, & he truly wants to please me. The sex is good, I just can't get there.

*veggiequeen- the sad thing is that we are in the same boat. Unfortunately.

So thanks again! I have work to do. More foreplay, but I feel crazy to ask for more. I feel like that should be automatic. Of course I've learned that sometimes you need more. Or the crazy thing is that I'm the horniest when he's not home. When he is It's like...I go through the motions to please him & I end up with....nothing & frustrated. I won't give up. Thanks all!

It has been my experience that most woman wear three hats....some days they just want to lay and cuddle (which often leads to some sort of sex..lol)...other days they may want to make love (that is when a lot of kissing, foreplay kicks in ) and thirdly some days they just want to f___k....be it anywhere and any way, any how........just saying..keep it exciting.....and enjoy..

Ok. Like just stop Having sex for a little while. Why would you allow people to touch u if they don't take time to make u cum. Hell no. Just stop. Learn about you. Go to cherrytv.com. plz look up Erica lust

STOP HAVING SEX???? Been there, done that (not by choice ...for more than 10 years.) Quite frankly if I do ever get my hands on a willing participant my fear is I would not let him out of the house. lol (only kidding, I think)

I do like yorman's analogy of the three hats (sounds about right)

@ Girlthatshere........ I don't know that it is fair to blame all on him not doing enough. In some cases this is true, but other times it may very well be because of a woman being (as the others did say...) too tightly wound or unable to get caught up in the moment.

But then ...who am I to talk? :(

It's taken me a long time but at thirty for I had my first sex orgasm!

Suggest learning how to masturbate yourself
Then asking your partner to masturbate you, he should be willing to be trying for at least half hour here, thoughts of his hand must be getting tired will prevent orgasm

Once your having mutual orgasmic foreplay then move onto sex

Make sure it doesn't hurt, do foreplay, be wet, and then he's got to be able to keep it up for a long time, while you try different depths, fast, slow etc, see if something finds that itch and once he has it scream... Keep doing that!

Repeat until crescendo!!! Bam!!!

If that fails are you On medications that are affecting sex life?
Heart problems?
Bit of mind body connection through yoga and meditation
Finding fantasies that turn you On to think about during sex

If all else falls have you read the karma sutra? I actually think it advises not to orgasm? Perhaps seeing it from a different perspective would cheer you up

Some women just don’t reach orgasm during intercourse! Thats just a fact. Get creative with toys during intercourse