Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I'm an alcoholic, and just a couple of weeks ago I relapsed after 7 months of sobriety.
It's been really hard but after what happened yesterday opened my eyes.
I'm nine-teen years old and have never had sexual intercourse with a man (because I'm gay. i've had sex with girls before but no men.)
Unfortunately, this is similar to those infamous stories about girls getting drunk and having promiscuous sex.
But with me, I never planned on having sex with a guy anytime soon. Especially the guy I lost my virginity to last night. I didn't even know him, and he was fucking ugly.
Yet I drank, and it happened.
I feel so disgusted of myself. We didn't even look into protection (so I had to get the morning after pill today). How stupid could I have been?
I literally felt like throwing up afterwards. Not only that but my girlfriend and I decided not to talk anymore the day before it happened because of my alcoholism (I didn't want to hurt her anymore), but when I got home this morning I called her and told her everything. She feels terrible about it and we're back together again.
But as far as what happened, I really can't stop thinking about it. I feel so disgusted inside and I feel trashy. I would've NEVER done anything to someone I didn't know, let alone for my first time.
Can someone please talk to me, i've been so ashamed to tell any of my friends.
It's been really hard but after what happened yesterday opened my eyes.
I'm nine-teen years old and have never had sexual intercourse with a man (because I'm gay. i've had sex with girls before but no men.)
Unfortunately, this is similar to those infamous stories about girls getting drunk and having promiscuous sex.
But with me, I never planned on having sex with a guy anytime soon. Especially the guy I lost my virginity to last night. I didn't even know him, and he was fucking ugly.
Yet I drank, and it happened.
I feel so disgusted of myself. We didn't even look into protection (so I had to get the morning after pill today). How stupid could I have been?
I literally felt like throwing up afterwards. Not only that but my girlfriend and I decided not to talk anymore the day before it happened because of my alcoholism (I didn't want to hurt her anymore), but when I got home this morning I called her and told her everything. She feels terrible about it and we're back together again.
But as far as what happened, I really can't stop thinking about it. I feel so disgusted inside and I feel trashy. I would've NEVER done anything to someone I didn't know, let alone for my first time.
Can someone please talk to me, i've been so ashamed to tell any of my friends.
Sure this might be a major bad event in your life, but people go through a lot worse, imagine if you got drunk and was raped..... that would be a catastrophe, but thankfully, it sounds like it was a consented act.
Cut yourself some slack and please if you can, use this experience in a positive way so it can be the kick in the ass to get you to think about stopping drinking again. good luck
"Focus on how you will become successful today, and forget about the setbacks from yesterday"
Curiosity about the male gender got the best of you, and there's nothing wrong with a little experimenting, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone; how committed are you with your gal-pal? Now that you know your feeling about yourself after having sex with a man (at least a man you were not attracted to) is disgust, I guess you'll be a little more selective next time if you decide to pursue the male gender, and at least find a guy you find hot. Maybe ask your gal-pal about how she feels about a menage a trois, if you two are not totally committed to each other monogamously? I don't know the nature of your and her relationship, but it sounds like you've got a wonderful, understanding gal-pal there who loves you. Do get checked out for VD and pregnancy, so that, if (hopefully) nothing is there, your mind will at least be at ease about the physical stuff.
If you're going to put yourself in a bar or situation where a guy is going to make moves, don't rely on his dumb-ass to supply and use protection. Take the responsibility for your own body and bring plenty of condoms yourself, and don't get drunk enough that you forget to slide one on him.
As for the man, I understand how you feel, I really do. But please forgive yourself and move forward from it. We have all been then at some point in our lives so we difinitely can't point fingers. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's good that you were able to tell your gf the truth about what happened. And it's even better that she wants to come back to you. It shows the trust and commitment that the two of you have. Forgive yourself and go forward, hon!