Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
My husband and I are in our mid-late 20's and we hardly ever have sex now. As couples do, we started off doing a perfect imitation of rabbits, but now... we're lucky if we "manage" once a month. Then, this morning I wake up with sexual dreams of my ex. Ut oh... Help me define healthy? Is there a "normal" times-per-month ? Is there a normal anything really?
There is no set #of times a month, each of our lives dictate how often we are lucky enough to embrace our love.
Time management can help make more time for the fun stuff, at least thats my thoughts.
As far as having thoughts about your ex, while it most likely happens from time to time with a lot of folks, as long as your not seeking the ex out, hoping to rekindle a lost spark, I would not read to much into it.
Healthy sex...... The joy of joining together, meshing as one, reciprocating the emotions, the feelings, the tenderness, the physicality of touch that fulfills your inner being without danger of physical harm occurring. Again, jmo
Do you know why your sex life dwindled down to once a month? Are there relationship problems, medical and/or psychological problems, too much stress, etc.?
Open communication is essential in a relationship. If you're not happy with your sex life, talk to him about it.
Tell him, as leather said, there must be communication, some of it may be painful, but it needs to happen jmo
He knows your story from the past, but just like all things, everything changes, your desires, his desires, we all change, maybe a little, maybe a lot. For what its worth, you really need to try and give him some sort of direction as to what you want. You said above, that you have mainly strived for pleasing of your man, thats great, but your own pleasure must be met too. Needs to be a two way street, while pamoering him, meeting his needs is admirable, if your needs are not just as significant and satisfied also, indeed, a problem is at hand.
Gotta talk it out, you just might find he is wanting more but feels he is pressuring to much, especially if you are doing all the work to make things go.
Sad admission, sometimes men have no clue as to what their woman wants.
As Toss said, due to your past he might feel he's pressuring you. Some conversations might be difficult at first but they are sometimes the most important ones to have. You're not a mind reader and neither is your husband, without talking openly with each other, problems can't be worked on and solved.
As for your dream I would say it is harmless. I once read that dreaming about an ex during a relationship just means you are longing fro something in your current one. Sounds plausible here.