Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Maybe this is truly a dead end. I'm beginning to think so. I married a man I wasn't very attracted to. It's been one year. Before that, in our first year, at the beginning, I was semi-attracted. I at least could enjoy sex. But these past six months have gone to the point that I can't even orgasm. I tried showing him how to touch me, but that didn't work at all. I love him so much. I cant' imagine life without him. Yet, now, when we have sex, it's not a very pleasant experience, (about once every two weeks, luckily), and after, I wonder will I be able to do this for life? It's my second marriage though. I don't want to end this; I'm happy in every other area overall.
Any women out there face this? I wish I could just find a way to come so sex isn't so bad. He's a handsome guy, I don't know why I feel this way. It really, really, really sucks.
Why do you want sex with him?
Does he do anything right in bed and what is missing that your not getting?
Why did you marry him?
sometimes even.the most attractive person is unattractive when your emotional needs aren’t being met. Example: do you find someone that isn’t particularly attractive, attractive when they are meeting your need for great conversation or being attentive to your needs. Bringing you your favorite coffee without you asking. All of a sudden that person is more and more attractive. Same here, if your man stops doing what he did while dating you he will be less attractive in every way.
If he isn’t doing it for you in the bedroom, take control and bring some toys into your bed with him... have fun. If he doesn’t want to participate.. he can watch.
There is more going on here than you are owning up to. The part that caught my notice was " I tried showing him how to touch me, but that didn't work at all."
That is totally unacceptable. Were you not mature enough to be clear about what you needed? Is he not smart enough to understand? Does he not care enough about you to prioritize something as simple as giving you an orgasm? Could that lack of prioritizing your needs be why you growing less attracted to him? Would it be possible to rephrase your problem in a way that actually makes sense?
Haha, anyway I had a relationship with someone I thought was ugly but it was good in other areas. But we never had sex.
I decided to leave him because I wanted better
The next guy I dated attacked me so I spent the next ten years dealing with trauma and shi t
I often wonder what my life would have been like if I had just stayed with that guy I was kinda good friends with
Unfortunately I now have loads of consequences hanging over my head but I have found another good guy
And I'm not letting anything mess this up!
Therapy can unlock any repressed urges and feelings I think???
I guess you just have to learn to have good foreplay and how to bring each other to climax. Yes in the beginning that might mean a lot of aching wrists! But don't be huffing about it now that's going to delay the orgasm
Once you have good foreplay you can then learn how to have good sex.
If you love someone and your being played with to orgasm then you don't need urges and loads of attraction?