Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
So for a few weeks I had been speaking to a really cool woman, a collage professor, whom I thought was the must intelligent women ever. Things became sexual and plans for a relationship became the topic. The only concern we both had was the distance and her daughter. We are 1300 miles apart and she has an 11 year old kid. I am a live in care giver to an elderly man. So getting together would be challenging but not impossible. Things were moving along very nicely and our next meeting was to be in May, but then...... BAMB! The last time we spoke.....6 hours on the phone, finishing with great phone sex. She had several loud and intense orgasms, that apparently her daughter heard. Ops! these things happen. Well, the daughter lays a huge guilt trip on mom, saying , evidently, "mommy, I don't like you talking to that guy. (Read..I don't want to share you and see you happy, mommy.") Now, I am to blame because mom could contain her lustful sounds. It is somehow all my fault. Am I missing something here? This woman is willing to sacrifice her future and happiness (as if a lamb to her "God", which is ironic, as she is Atheist!) for the sake of her child? Work around it. we could have shared our time. I understand the child needs her mother, I'm not a selfish ass. I would have gone so much more the extra mile for this lady. It is her loss. I pity her. Where will her daughter be in this woman's "golden years" at the nursing home? Raising her own family and enjoying her own happiness, whilst her mother???? Sad, truly sad. Your thoughts?
As a mom, I would be mortified if my daughter heard and yes it would put a damper on things.
If you are in to her, then give it time she will come around. If this is just a fun time and you don't want to wait than move on...it is that simple.
Sorry but I am sure any mom worthy of the title mom will agree, kids first always.
The children ALWAYS come first. Period. Any other person is a secondary accessory. You aren't to blame but, you're out of luck here my friend.
Granted, there may be ways to introduce her child into your relationship, but the woman feels its not the right time.
How do you know that the two of you would even hit it off in person? Why do you feel she is sacrificing her future and happiness for the sake of her child?
Great phone sex and somewhat meaningful conversations on the phone do not, a relationship, make.
Or, maybe she is just using the child not wanting her to have a relationship as an excuse not to meet-up.
My brother encountered the exact same problem when it came to his girlfriend's 3-year-old son. They'd be doing the deed, and in walks her son at 2am saying "Mommy, make me a sandwich." and she'd do it! When the kid wanted Mommy to hold him, no matter what she'd be doing, cooking or whatever, she'd pick him up and hold him! It made my brother cringe. He began to hate the little bastard. He made his feelings known, and that spelled doom, the beginning of the end of their relationship.
Love IS selfish. We ALL want what we want when we want it when it comes to love. A woman's child always comes first. Suck it up! Deal with it!