Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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fitbunny 02/20/2017

I'm new to this site.. just in desperate need of support and advice :/

My husband and I will have been married 1 year next month, but we dated for 6 years(high school sweethearts).

During our engagement we decided to abstain from sex till the wedding night (it was about 3 1/2 months no sex). But once married it's like his drive for sex had disappeared. Our entire dating days we were like rabbits, we couldn't stop. But now I feel like my sex drive is through the roof but he would be content snuggling and making love once a week or every other week.

Now he's working a job and is gone M-F and only home Sat/Sun. However when something comes up he may be kept out 2 weeks. I never imagined I could feel this lonely and as bad as it sounds, deprived (as well as undesirable). Is anyone else experiencing this or have been through it and have any advice to offer? We're both in our early 20's

SpaceC0wb0y 02/23/2017

I'm very sorry to hear you're feeling lonely and deprived at this time. It does seem odd, doesn't it? I like to learn more about people and their situations instead of jumping right into presumptive advising. You said you're both in your early 20's and have dated (exclusively?) since high school with no issues then. Could you tell me more about your husband and his work?

koolman 02/23/2017

Now he's working a full time job: I think you gave the reason right there. He's tired honey.

SpaceC0wb0y 02/23/2017

koolman, let's not jump to hasty conclusions. I certainly hope, for her sake, your theory is correct and he will find a way to balance his work with her needs but there's nearly always more to the story.

kmlslolo3 02/26/2017

I hear you on the feeling deprived. Are you feeling loved in other ways? When I hear "lonely" I hear that there are other things missing from the relationship as well. Many times, sex, or lack thereof, is a symptom of the underlying "I'm not feeling loved and desired". For me personally, this was the case (1 year into our marriage as well). Do you know about the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? It might be something to look into. There are 5 love languages, one being physical touch. And this does not always mean sex...but other types of touch. Many times when a person is feeling like sex is a problem, it could be connected to their feeling of being loved. In my marriage, I wasn't getting sex, but also wasn't getting hand holding, cuddling, or kissing. So I felt very deprived without realizing it at the time. Sounds like you are getting the cuddles, but that really isn't what you are looking for. I highly recommend taking the test online to see what you and your partner's primary love languages are so that you both can better show each other love. The sex will come (no pun intended) when other parts of the relationship are secure. This may also mean working through change and the new type of stress that comes with that (like a new job).

bakerjackie321 03/06/2017

My husband was gone for a couple of weeks for work. Like you we were like rabbits but when he came home it was hard for me. I needed the intimacy that we did not get for the two weeks he was gone. Once that intimacy was back it was back to the races.

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