Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Alright folks,
I hang out with this very attractive woman who seems to give out alot of signals but I'm not sure what to do with them.
Let me start at the beginning.
Both she and I worked together at the same place. We don't anymore but that's how we met. She was dating another co-worker of ours, but they broke up. After about a month, we started hanging out nearly everyday. At first, I didn't think much of the fact that we were spending alot of time together because this girl is pretty out of my league. I'm a bigger guy and she's thinner and curvier.
Anywho, a few weeks after we started seeing each other daily. She started asking for backrubs. Again this wasn't uncommon for her to do, i had heard from a friend of mine that he used to give her backrubs as well. However there was a difference. She wanted me to go under her shirt and allowed me more free reign than he had (I verified all this with him). I also noticed she would get alot closer to me. I know, I know, giving a girl a backrub is pretty close already but what i mean is she would position herself closer and even at times that I wasn't giving her backrubs and we were just watching a movie, we would be pretty close. So close that a few times I've been tempted to take a leap and kiss her. However again, that whole image thing nails me.
This went on quite awhile and she started to ask me to stay the night. Mostly when her sister was out of town. Her excuse was that her place is "a bit creepy". I did a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Whether it was cause I was didn't make a move or not, I'm not to sure. Hence why I'm asking for advice here.
I know, this kind of seems pretty obvious. So what's throwing me off? The image thing is one thing. She also has mentioned her ex a few times. She doesn't go overboard on it, but now and then she talks about him (mostly when he messages her as he wants her back). Then there's also the fact that speaking to her sister once, her sister told me that if i made a move it would really violate the trust that this girl has in me. That really made me freeze cause they are pretty close and tell each other alot.
So i turn to you folks.
I hang out with this very attractive woman who seems to give out alot of signals but I'm not sure what to do with them.
Let me start at the beginning.
Both she and I worked together at the same place. We don't anymore but that's how we met. She was dating another co-worker of ours, but they broke up. After about a month, we started hanging out nearly everyday. At first, I didn't think much of the fact that we were spending alot of time together because this girl is pretty out of my league. I'm a bigger guy and she's thinner and curvier.
Anywho, a few weeks after we started seeing each other daily. She started asking for backrubs. Again this wasn't uncommon for her to do, i had heard from a friend of mine that he used to give her backrubs as well. However there was a difference. She wanted me to go under her shirt and allowed me more free reign than he had (I verified all this with him). I also noticed she would get alot closer to me. I know, I know, giving a girl a backrub is pretty close already but what i mean is she would position herself closer and even at times that I wasn't giving her backrubs and we were just watching a movie, we would be pretty close. So close that a few times I've been tempted to take a leap and kiss her. However again, that whole image thing nails me.
This went on quite awhile and she started to ask me to stay the night. Mostly when her sister was out of town. Her excuse was that her place is "a bit creepy". I did a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Whether it was cause I was didn't make a move or not, I'm not to sure. Hence why I'm asking for advice here.
I know, this kind of seems pretty obvious. So what's throwing me off? The image thing is one thing. She also has mentioned her ex a few times. She doesn't go overboard on it, but now and then she talks about him (mostly when he messages her as he wants her back). Then there's also the fact that speaking to her sister once, her sister told me that if i made a move it would really violate the trust that this girl has in me. That really made me freeze cause they are pretty close and tell each other alot.
So i turn to you folks.
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Tomorrow is National Relaxation Day but seeing how we already had a Moment of Zen this week and today happens to be a Friday, how about some relaxation jokes instead?! Namaste... enjoy! Happy Friday!
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If you only know one thing about me, it should be _____________________.
You also mentioned that she's attractive and out of your league or so you think. Get out of your head! It's called having confidence. So what she's attractive & you can have her if you choose. Confidence goes a long way.
Good luck. Let us know what you decide to do.She's giving you signals. I'd say go for it if you like her. Now if you think it would ruin the relationship don't chance it, then you will need to have boundaries & not allow her to cross them. I would really hope that she's not toying with you. Meaning if you act on her actions & she flips out as if she hasn't been sending signals, then you know that she's a tease & it's time to have a talk about how she's been behaving.
I personally think she's sending you signals. Think about what you want from her. What do you want more? A relationship or her friendship?
As for the "image" in YOUR head.. stop that! You, nor anyone, should say what someone should look like in regards to liking you. It's apparent that she already likes you; if even as "just a friend". Just be you.. have fun and go with the flow of things.
Who you are inside & outside.
If she thought you were too big or ect.
she wouldn't go near you.
I have a few friends (male/female) who are 'bigger'
but ppl of the opposite sex or even same sex find those bigger ppl
attractive or at least parts of them & that's what they focus on.
forget for a minute that it's your situation, think of it as watchin someone else's life for a moment & look at her body language her eyes & feel the words, do you think she's attracted to that guy she hangs out with?Pay attention to her , do u feel she's attracted to you.
You should do what xbrokenan.. says ..
ms.frustrated is good to listen to too.
Let us know what happens please?
If you have trouble getting the nerve up to ask her out I'll understand,
But you may regret not asking, yrs later you could b thinking 'I should've asked her!' She was interested in a relationship...
"Violate her trust": What trust? For you to just sit there and be a gentleman and a friend while she drives you nuts with lust? She's a tease, probably just using you for some rebound game to make herself feel good while her ex is not around. I'd go ahead and push things a little further, pull her in for a kiss or whatever comes natural, then see how she reacts. If she melts into you, you're in. If she recoils in horror, say "Well, what'dja expect me to do? You've been teasing me, driving me nuts!"